Dossier
by peppermintyrose
Summary: Post "Dead and Gone" Eric considers all that he knows about his relationship with Sookie. This is the requested EPOV to accompany my other fic, Consumption, which is told from Sookie's POV.
1. The Fox and the Lion

_Disclaimer: All of the following is thoughtfully rearranged from the original works of Charlaine Harris. So I cannot scream MINE._

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When I wrote Consumption, some posited that Sookie should just love Eric, and forget about thinking. **I do not agree with this idea.** That's a recipe for disaster, and I'm sure if you replace "Eric" with "Bill", you'd see how very loathsome that idea is - past actions and current circumstances are all, not just love. Eric is a devious creature, and I hope from reading this fic that those of you who advocate "less thinking" will understand that he's just as dangerous as she thinks, if not more so. Don't get me wrong - he's my suitor of choice, but every action has an explanation. He's not a guy that one should just assume he does it because he's St. Eric, patron of telepaths, acting only in love and without his own goals and purpose.

Never look for ESN in my fics – I don't write it, and I don't review it. I'd say it's due to deep-seated issues, but **Thyra10** wants me to blame her instead. :D Much love to my Danish scapegoat for badgering me to start writing out my PMs as stories.

Much adoration to **Miss Construed**, who looked through this for me so that I could see if I put all my thoughts on the page instead of half of it in my head, as I tend to do. I await her Deliverance/ SVM crossover with much eagerness - that is the fic that NEEDS to be written. :D

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_A prince, therefore, being compelled knowingly to adopt the beast, ought to choose the fox and the lion; _

_because the lion cannot defend himself against snares and the fox cannot defend himself against wolves. _

_Therefore, it is necessary to be a fox to discover the snares and a lion to terrify the wolves. _

_Those who rely simply on the lion do not understand what they are about._

– _Machiavelli's The Prince._

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I've always been a quick thinker, but I've used my years to hone my brain to a weapon. It's how I make my way in the world. Sure, I can use all manner of blade, but that's short term and physical. I use my intellect to keep myself safe, to ensure my survival over the long term. I enjoy the mental victories with the same savour as the physical ones.

I'm persistent and stubborn, and there's nothing to keep me from my goals. Apart from when I sleep, my brain is always assessing problems and working through situations. Spur of the moment thinking gets one into trouble.

I have spent the better part of a thousand years using humanity, in as many ways as I could. Nowadays with the Great Revelation I use them for blood, for money, for business and for service. Laughably, they thrive on that – I have a business that serves to use humans, from their need to gawk in curiosity, to the need to get their high from being chosen for feeding.

Fangtasia is my face to the world, but it's not all I am. I thrive on the world of vampire politics, which ensures my safety and autonomy, at least in part. Sure, I could quit politics if I had desperate need, but I like the endless machinations and winning the battle of logic over my opponents. A victory is a victory, and spilling blood can be metaphorical. I use these victories to satisfy some of my more primal urges, but retain my control. I am both contented with meeting my urges this way and with power to make sure that I have some small measure of control over my own life. No power means no control over the actions of others, no leverage. I remember how well that worked for Bill Compton to have no rights within the hierarchy. He wised up quickly and got a position. I have a position that affords me the right amount of power and money and relatively little danger.

I have to bow to other vampires, but I find this doesn't burn so much. There's nowhere within the vampire world that one can escape fealty owed to others. None achieve total autonomy, whether from those who can call your actions to account at trial, to threats from rivals, to the basic commands of a Maker. It is foolishness to think that just by rising in the ranks that one will be free from being overseen. Indeed, it is being lower in the rank that gets less scrutiny. My little corner of Louisiana doesn't get a lot of attention around the world, but the Kingdom of Arkansas, Las Vegas and Louisiana does. Felipe de Castro is welcome to the scrutiny.

I have as much as and no more than I can handle. I would call it an _elegant sufficiency_. In terms of excitement, well, that's what the world of vampires is all about, and what Sookie Stackhouse brings to the table. I'm bonded to the biggest nexus for supernatural plotting in my little corner of Louisiana, and it affords some entertainment.

I find, during my downtime or waiting for sleep that my thoughts turn to figuring out the enigma of Sookie Stackhouse, and how I can get what I want – that being her. Always the planner, the schemer, I find myself inclined to make guesses based on what I know of her. I have a thousand years of skill at keeping myself alive to use on one little telepath – I doubt she is up to the challenge, but I certainly am. With the blood bond, I have more chances than ever to anticipate her feelings and test her reactions. A tentative question will give me the information I need to move forward in my own interests.

In the short time I've known this woman, I find myself changed for her sake, reawakening my human qualities I thought long since lost. I'm not one of those damned romance figures on the covers of her loathsome books, or a lovesick stereotype – I don't think I ever was. It's a great hangover from the romanticism era and a wonderful marketing strategy to the world, but I've never been that sort of man. My human existence was filled with practicality, necessity and survival; more so my vampire existence.

Over the centuries I've been alive, I've become an excellent manipulator. I can read people as if they are books. I can give them what they want, what they wish for. In order to survive, I have become the consummate dissembler – presenting what others need to get from me in order to give me what I wish. I understand the way humans and vampires think alike, and I do whatever I need to stay on top of my game. I cannot confess that for much of that time I had compassion or empathy – what I had was an intimate understanding of how to get others to do what I wish them to do. Understanding emotions and compelling them is a far distant thing from feeling them – but I produce a wonderful facsimile of the "real thing". My skill at manipulation was finally my undoing, of course.

I find myself feeling compassion and empathy where before there was none, only cold logic and hard gain. By no means is that empathy and compassion there for all – but for Sookie Stackhouse, it exists. It also serves me better to gain her trust and meet my own ends, which is to have Sookie as mine. I find that I have feelings for this woman, this magnificent woman, and an unusual situation at best, which makes me strive and seek her company out. I never do anything for only one reason – emotion doesn't drive me solely. I am more than a collection of feelings and urges, as so many are, totally without focus and goals. I am not an aimless creature wandering for sensations, but a being with purpose.

Some of the things that I know best about myself, what I am, I also share with this telepath. The need for control over my own life, or as Sookie says as much as anyone can have. The pride and stubbornness, the fiery temper, the bravery and the daring – Sookie is so much like me in some areas. I've been doing it longer, however, enforcing my will for decades on others, persisting until I get what I want. I have faith that I can wear my telepathic paradox down. I am the irresistible force to her immovable object.

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**A/N:** In the words of CH: _Eric __**always**__ has more than one motive._ You can find this statement by searching her forum.

Pre-empting the squealing. :D Eric doesn't use the word love, so I won't. CH hasn't decided if Eric loves Sookie either for DITF (as quoted on her forum and bemoaned all over the web), and she wrote the character. To be honest, I think that Eric's feelings are far scarier than love, and in my mind, love involves selflessness – not Eric's strong suit. If you do things for more than one reason, it's rarely selfless. This is what I mean by refusing to read more into the text than is written. So save your little fingers from telling me that I can't see the love that you see there – 'cause nor can CH ***hint hint***. By doing that, I feel some other aspects are discounted in Eric's character, and in my mind, Eric is no gushy lovesick fool. That's why _I_ like him - and I see no reason to reduce complex, intelligent Eric to a emotional simpleton in order for it to read like anyone thinks it should.

This isn't going to be the same sort of progression as Consumption as over a couple of days – I'm taking the view that Eric always thinks about things over time and modifies his body of knowledge. So it's more a summary, rather than a story over days. It also means I don't have to push my lack of "creato-meter" to think up details not in the books. I am seriously lacking in creative abilities, but I rock at critical analysis.

This fic is a little bit more difficult than Sookie's as we've never gotten into Eric's head (apart from snippets) so this is a little more conjecture and supposition – what I would glean if I were Eric – but only from the text. I won't be using things Eric doesn't know about - like Preston etc. I will take it one degree from canon – meaning I will look at the available information and make deductions – but I won't make up theories out of nothing. Anything not from the books will be from CH's website. I also don't intend to deal with every little incident.

The titles of these chapters come from Machiavelli's _The Prince_. I read it a good while back, and it gives me a good appreciation for politics, and the political mind.


	2. The Patient Listener

_Disclaimer: All of the following is thoughtfully rearranged from the original works of Charlaine Harris. So I cannot scream MINE._

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_Because this is to be asserted in general of men, that they are ungrateful, fickle, false, cowardly, covetous, _

_and as long as you succeed they are yours entirely; they will offer you their blood, property, life, and children,_

_as is said above, when the need is far distant; but when it approaches they turn against you._

– _Machiavelli's The Prince._

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It was thanks to Bill Compton that I met Sookie Stackhouse. He brought her to my club, and then announced her importance to him by pronouncing her "his". She didn't realise at the time that that underlined her importance.

Pronouncing a human a possession, one not to be shared, which does not happen to the fangbangers at the bar. That only happens when the talents of said human are enough to warrant a declaration of exclusivity by the vampire. Otherwise, my bar would be a bloodbath of jealous vampires every night fighting over humans. Jealousy and possessiveness really only occur when there is need and desire for that on the behalf of the vampire. Of course, it is to the vampire's benefit – there is no such provision made in the declaration of ownership for the human – no exclusivity required. Most humans are merely just a blood buffet – anyone can share at the dish.

Of course, it became clear by the end of the night what manner of talents they were. Telepathy. I believe it shaped a lot of our interactions, and ignited my desire for her. It gave her use in my world, use that couldn't be forced, but coerced. Without the ability to glamour her to get what I wanted, I needed to manipulate her into doing what I wanted. In doing so, it gave me the opportunity to bother to get to know the person underneath all that, at first for manipulation, and then for desire. Fangtasia is filled with silly girls who think if they say the right thing, wear the right clothes, adopt the right attitude; I would fall under their thrall. I am no wandering minstrel, desperate for romantic assignations and I see through these designs and play them to my own advantage.

In truth, there are many broken down and subservient women. If I wished to spend my time with one, I could. I did not need to pursue a telepath who had already agreed, under her own conditions, to work for me. I could have a different flavour of woman for each day of the week. None of them would naysay me and they would be interchangeable and replaceable. I've had that, yet I wish for Sookie Stackhouse.

Without her telepathy, a person striving to be good like Sookie wouldn't be around vampires, any more than she'd date a serial killer who'd found religion on death row. Most of the people who surrounded us were twisted, lesser, meaner. They hope to use us – for money, gifts, thrills and even to be made vampire. They flock to us for things, and we pay them back by using them straight back, for blood, for sex, for money. Women like Sookie do not walk into Fangtasia – they stay well away, or they look on us with horror. As well they should, as vampires have only had synthetic blood for a small portion of time – before that, humans were prey. Of course, they still are prey, but we feed mostly on willing prey, fascinated with the danger and death of vampires.

Without her telepathy, I would not have sought to understand her in order to find the appropriate levers to manipulate her. When surrounded by a myriad of users and human wastes of space, why bother to sift through to find a speck of gold? Without her being the possession of Bill's I never would have sought to manipulate her, never truly wanted her for my own. Sookie's attention was something I had to work for, not mine alone to command. In so interacting with her, I found myself with many things in common, and a great deal in common. In seeking her fealty, I found myself fascinated and trapped, and giving my own.

This is how I laid the trap for Sookie Stackhouse and was ensnared myself, I am sure of it. Sookie Stackhouse was good and kind, and I found myself wanting to be good and kind in turn. I would never by my nature be good and kind, but she awakened things I thought dead centuries ago. By playing to her principles, I found myself wanting to abide by them, wanting to feel her approval. Soon her approval meant all to me. It pleased me that she had trust in me – that she turned to me for help, assistance and soon affection. I found that it wasn't just about my own feelings of not wishing to force her, instead using my own art and skill, but also that I took comfort in actually being there for her, to be held special by her.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

Sookie's otherness first caught my attention on the night I ordered Bill to bring her to Fangtasia. She intrigued me that night, and in so doing inadvertently saved her own life. It was her deal with me to work on good faith that did it. Not only is this sound management practice, but it also appealed to me to have a person with a sense of honour giving their word as bond. So many things in my human life, and so much in the supernatural world counts on giving your word and keeping it. Swearing fealty to those you serve, making arrangements with other supernatural races – all is built on giving your word and keeping it. Even dealing with fairies, whom we vampires had been at war with, they could be relied upon that when they gave their word, they kept it, despite our mutual animosity. Supernatural deals were built on the participants having honour and keeping to their word – and made for excellent deals, far better than leverage ever did.

If she had complied with me, or if she had wanted money, she may well have had to fend for herself a little more that night. Of course, a telepath is valuable and not easily replaced, but a scarred and scared telepath can be just as effective. Fear and not wanting to be injured are wonderful motivators. I find that they motivate many, and have used them to great advantage over the years. It was her deal based on honour that interested and intrigued me. In point of fact, it was not often that one runs across a principled human, at least for a vampire. Most of those who surround me are sycophantic or only do what is expedient. I found it captivating and appealing to deal with such a rare creature in my world. Certainly worth preserving, rather than trying to reduce her to the lowest common denominator.

That was further heightened by the intriguing smell of her blood. Of course, Bill Compton saw the way that she handled herself and armed himself with an official position under the hierarchy, trying to stave off that interest and make sure he was kept in the loop. That only gave me opportunities to observe her behaviour, observe his mistakes and modify my behaviour accordingly, and to find a crack in their relationship in which to insert myself. Easy.

I quickly learnt that unguarded, Sookie Stackhouse was a fierce and brave, with a true ability to gather her thoughts and make connections. The night of the maenad attack, she demanded an apology from me, told Bill to go to Hell and kept hanging onto thoughts long after she should be subsiding onto the couch in pain. It was a true delight to see that she had a strong character, and made me far more interested.

Of course, she wasn't foolish in her strength – she made sure to have Bill escort her to Dallas, and did not leave the vagaries of her protection up to me, but rather stood up to me. All too often, I find that there are those that are too brash and stupid to think they are in danger, rather than the feisty yet cautious type. The tourists and fangbangers who come to my bar have fallen prey to the idea that they cannot be harmed. They believe that vampires have to play nice because the rules say so.

Of course, not only did I get the ability to save my telepath that night, so that I could use her services for profit, but I tasted her blood. Not only the sheer sensual enjoyment of the night, but was there the enjoyment of having to perform this task to save her (making lie of Bill's claim of exclusivity). It also gave me a small but short-lived insight into her feelings – another tool in my arsenal to find out how she felt about things, to tailor my response to her.

I soon learnt that along with the scaffold of honour, there was also a whole range of other moral codes that she had for herself. Casual sexual assignations were not going to be what got this woman's attention. She turned down any implication that she be "shared" in Dallas. But it did serve to irritate Bill, and test his reaction to my advances. Modesty was important to her, as was politeness. Polite manners were no stretch to gain her favour, but they also allowed some of my more outrageous behaviours to pass by without much protest – her decency denied her too vehement protests.

Surprisingly, despite being lead into a trap, she did not renege on her deal to allow humans to be killed due to her telepathy. Stan bent the rules far enough that punishments could be creative and she would accept them, even if they went against her innate need to protect humans. I could work with that. There are plenty of punishments that don't need killing or pain, so I thought that Stan had provided me with a valuable loophole. I could break a man with words and manoeuvres without ever breaking his skin, and still be satisfied.

I think I can pinpoint the moment when her approval really started to matter to me for my own sake. The instant I started changing and the first time in centuries that I felt more human, rather than an inhuman monster. When she cried in Dallas and allowed me to care for her. I am not by nature one who comforts, or who needs comfort. But in holding her and calming her, I found that I did not want her to cry again. In my presence, in my _care_, she went from a woman almost defeated by what was done to her to a woman buoyed up by my succour. It was a heady feeling, a victory, from a woman who did not care for me at all. I felt that I had conquered some small part of her, soothed her so that she could find comfort in me. After a great deal of years as predator, it was an odd feeling that I could comfort my prey without anything in return. It awakened something in me – the desire not just to give her physical pleasure, but emotional pleasure as well.

That's where the first crack started to appear in their relationship, in Dallas. Bill pursued the Fellowship members and left Sookie behind with me. Without a thought, he ran off, and Sookie had made it clear earlier that night that she didn't think vengeance was appropriate. It was a valuable lesson for me, and I did not take it lightly. I knew then that I would need to stay with Sookie in the event of an attack, and that little piece of knowledge came to fruition over time. Vengeance was not appropriate on later attackers such as Bill, Mickey and some fool in my bar. I did not forget the valuable information that would gain her favour.

The night of the orgy provided further information for me. Sookie, like me, was driven by pride. Bill was a fool – she was thoughtful, but had a breaking point where her pride got the better of her thoughtfulness. Bill could shame her only so far, be jealous only so far, but if he pushed it further, she would have a fierce attack of pride, and tell him off. At first when Bill told her she smelled of me, she submitted to his words, but when he pushed the point, she lost her temper. It made me laugh. It was a valuable piece of information for my purposes – she could be controlled to a certain extent, but if one were to push a point, she wouldn't allow herself to be degraded.

I think it was her pride that first got me hooked on the drug that was Sookie Stackhouse. So many humans have no pride, at least the ones who throw themselves at me. They are willing to be debased and degraded, just like those at the orgy. Sookie valued herself higher than that – she did not look for empty carnal pleasures, for the meaningless. I saw that my efforts that night were a waste. I wore a Lycra outfit that hugged every inch of me, kissed her and aroused her, and it still wasn't enough. Despite my considerable charms, this meant little to her. Her principles would not allow her to take the advantage her body wanted.

It wasn't just pride that buttressed her actions, but other kinds of honour as well. From what she herself had told me, the night of the orgy, she did not care for the man whose name she was trying to clear. Bill did not care for Andy Bellefleur either, so I knew it wasn't him who suggested she clear his name. Sookie made clear that night to Portia Bellefleur that it was her sense of honour and duty that called for her actions. More surprisingly, it was for her friend, Lafayette, murdered by the denizens of the dreary orgy that she went ahead with her plan.

For this Lafayette, she was willing to risk much, her safety, sexuality and sanity; and he had no ability to thank her. No one would appreciate what she had done for what they saw as a minority outsider killed by his own sexual misadventure. It became clear that she was surrounded by those who weren't as good as she was, weren't as kind as she was, but she helped anyway. Sookie wasn't swayed by money or social status, but by loyalty, honour and duty. What a rare find indeed – one who does something because it is right, rather than because it is easy – and her framework for what was right included many things.

At heart, what drove Sookie Stackhouse, much to my surprise, was compassion. She could not resist feeling compassionate for others around her. It served me well. She would help me if I could appeal to her empathetic nature and her unwillingness to allow others to be hurt.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

When Bill broke favour with Sookie and left, I became acquainted with iron hearted vengeful Sookie. It was a good test of her metal to see what she was like without support, and without Bill's influence. Her principles held true, and she was loyal to a fault, despite his obvious betrayal and the sting to her pride.

Sookie also let on that Bill didn't tell her very much about himself – from his past to vampire hierarchy. No matter what, Bill Compton firmly believed in 'Vampires First'. I thought at the time, watching her reaction to his pension scheme that Bill didn't know Sookie very well at all. There was no need to tell her of our deal – he had hurt her pride and self-possession deeply by pensioning her off as if she were a used up whore. He thought it would be a salve to her pride, and a replacement for him, but all it did was pain her deeply.

I also got my first taste of ruthless Sookie. She let me know in no uncertain terms that she had power over me in our little discussion in her kitchen. When she asked me what the Queen would do to me if I couldn't produce Bill on the date the project was due, she was letting me know that it was up to her if I would be subject to Queen's unpleasantness. I felt it only fair that I had threatened her with torture, and she threatened me right back. Sookie may not have had the power to exact her revenge, but she let me know that she had some power in the exchange. It reminded me that she was not a silly creature to be taken lightly, but one who could use the scenario to add her own menace. She let me know in no uncertain terms that I would be in _her_ debt by doing this, rather than her being in _my _debt.

She also made it clear that she was not doing this for petty reasons, but because of that same honour system she valued so highly. For Sookie Stackhouse, it wasn't a petty lover's squabble, but rather a matter of betrayal and her own feelings and obligations. Sookie did not wish to avenge herself on Lorena because of the damage to her own feelings, but for the sake of betrayal to Bill. A powerful weapon for those who could earn her fealty – to have someone willing to risk themselves for their own reasons, without regard to what is in their own interests. I found myself wanting her more for my own purposes, and wanting to please her so that she would give me this loyalty.

Sookie further enamoured me with her ability to be a quick and clever thinker. She made good deductive leaps when planning to rescue Bill, surprising even me with the ways in which she made connections. Sookie pointed out quite rightly that serendipity had brought our visit on a full moon, and that the time for attack was perfect because the weres guarding Bill would be tired. She even retained her coherence while having a stake planted in her side. Sookie knew that she would not be able to go to a doctor, and that she relied on the mercies of the supernatural creatures there with her. Being used to the nonsensical ravings and rampant stupidity of humans under pressure or in pain, my admiration grew for this creature.

Of course, she already had my admiration for her steadfast loyalty to the bitter end. Not even affection and lulling her into a false sense of security could get her to release her secrets. Sookie would not tell me about Bill's database, even though I told her that our mission was impossible, and possibly for no good. Her will and her control was everything, and I was honoured that night when she gave it willingly to me and allowed me to glamour her.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

I found myself wanting to please her not just for my own purposes, but so that she would be _pleased. _Outrageous – that I found myself wanting her to be happy. Despite being a rival to Bill, I found that I did not push for my own favour, and what I wished would happen, but what would make her happy. It started to creep in the night of the orgy, where I promised her that she would be happy and safe, not just for my own benefit of making her mine, but to preserve that feeling just for her.

Of course, this was the start of my discontent for how deeply I had entrenched myself in her happiness. Rather than push my own advantage, and satisfy my own needs, I found that I didn't like having feelings. What she had awakened in me now pained me. Her happiness was more important than my own, and I had a blood exchange with her that only furthered her own agenda, rather than my own. It wasn't enough to have me give up, but it was a serious setback that in this, my satisfaction would be thwarted in favour of hers.

Of course, she retrieved Bill, and paid for it greatly. I am not blind to the fact that Bill sexually assaulted her in the trunk of the Lincoln. The minute I opened the compartment, I knew. But having lost my own control over consensual sex with my maker, I knew that the worst thing I could do is further damage her pride and call attention to it, and let her know that I saw her as a victim. It would further that feeling of invasion and powerlessness if I announced what I knew and sought to control her reaction for my own benefit. I put aside my machinations for this, for her sake.

Sookie needed rather to feel less exposed, less controlled. She did not need me wallowing in her pain as if it was my own, and feeling like all eyes were between her legs. Instead, I took my cues from her, rather than enforcing my own wishes. It could not be undone or taken back by my exposing this to all and sundry, and certainly Bill seemed to feel deep shame over his own actions. Knowing that she always advocated the non-violent solution, I did not call Bill to account either. Both because it would only allow Sookie to know that I knew, and increase her shame, but also because Bill would punish his own actions, and that would be far better. If I beat him, he would consider that payback, and feel it had been remedied. After all he had put Sookie through, he did not deserve the comfort.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

On my way to her home, I thought about a great many things, some of which she had told me directly. While Sookie refused to give me details about her relationship with Bill, she did tell me that he was her first relationship, as relationships with human men were impossible. I found it incredible that she had not had any other relationships, but it made her actions understandable. Sookie was obviously inexperienced in letting others get close to her, or others wanting to be close to her, and I pondered our similarities. It does not surprise me therefore, that she stuck to him until he had made it irreparable. Bill had apparently not made her so happy with him, and she declared herself better off alone. Loneliness is a heavy burden – one I have experienced myself, and what had brought me to turn my own children.

On our disastrous trip home, I realised that Sookie Stackhouse mimicked the values I had in life. She valued her honour and loyalty above all. She was brave and courageous. While she was decidedly against violence when the situation was not urgent, she was not above putting herself on the line and killing others to defend herself. A fierce warrior – she had killed a three hundred year old vampire – no small feat. While she did not relish vengeance, she did not shy away from violence, or threats of violence. Sookie would do what she needed to do in order to protect others, which to my chagrin meant me as well. She handled a shotgun and a stake with equal skill.

Sookie tended to be honest, but lied effortlessly to get Bubba out of trouble, so she did not hold her values so dear that she was broken by them, but used them judiciously. I remember well how important it was to be truthful, and after many years of lying and dissembling, I was learning the benefits of being truthful in short bursts again. Despite her own troubles with money, she never considered asking for help, or betraying that which she had promised. Sookie had put herself through a great ordeal for little more than a lot of pain, and no monetary gain at all. Her pride meant that she would not subject herself to feeling degraded in order to live more comfortably.

She dealt with those around her as if they had their own honour codes as well, which would inevitably be her downfall. I had seen it become a theme – she did not consider that I might abandon her at the gas station, and she would not abandon the clerk despite the stress and danger that she would be under. What had first drawn me to her seemed now to be a way for her to be hurt by others who did not have the same high standards for themselves.

Her self-determination was a marvel too. Rather than all else, it was the fact that decisions were made without her that riled her most. Her rejection of Bill (because of course I listened) focused not on the fact that he had harmed her, or hurt her, but that he had made decisions on her behalf, and then sought to pass her on. This was a great boon of information for me, as any time I made decisions for her, I would have to make sure she participated wherever possible, at least in part. Sookie wished to make her own choices, and I could have laughed all night when she made a rude gesture to Bill's declaration that she was still his.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

Of course, I vowed to give her time to get over Bill and then make my move. I have no doubt that if I forced the issue, she would then feel pressured. But I determined that it wouldn't be too long – I did not wish to give Bill a chance to make amends. As it turned out, I made a fatal calculation, and I have only my own anger to blame. I neglected the fact that she did not take kindly to my competing with Alcide, and proceeded to fight with Bill in front of her. Sookie rescinded our invitations, and I knew that it would take longer to find a way to her bed, her heart and her life. Little did I know, it would be only a matter of weeks.

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**A/N:** If you want to see the effect of how I see Eric falling for Sookie, then observe Vicomte de Valmont (played by the delicious John Malkovich) and Madame de Tourvel (played by Michelle Pfeiffer) in _Dangerous Liaisons_ (1998).

A good manipulator must seem to empathise with his subject, and in doing so, they run the risk of being affected in turn. It's called the "Mirror Effect" (Social Imitation theory), which works against manipulators – while they attempt to convince their target that they are sincere; they tend to fall under the influence themselves, and instead end up mirroring their target instead. Of course, it only works when the intended target has a strong will and personality – it doesn't work that way for those who are vulnerable to manipulators. And it works on manipulators because while they have strong wills, they tend to be arrogant, and thus sure it can't really happen to them. More so in Eric's case because he and Sookie have similar values – bravery, duty, courage etc.

It cannot be adequately explained by having him just fall for a girl at random. Frankly that reduces what they have to her being no more than a pretty face at the right time - not anything profound or effecting. Eric would be infatuated with lots of women and men if this were the case, and his blood would be in a dozens all roaming around the state. As it isn't, then it must be assumed that Eric doesn't just get infatuated because it's a warm night, and she's blonde and sassy and can't be glamoured. Otherwise, he'd have a string of vampire girlfriends (because he says it's normal to have flings with vampires, rather than long term relationships) – no need to be with a human at all, who is going to die on him. Eric isn't a masochist. Since we know that the sharing of blood is inherent in vamp couplings, and he says doesn't think he has given his blood to a woman since Pam, it doesn't seem likely that he hasn't had a long string of vampire girlfriends.


	3. Two Opposing Humours

_Disclaimer: All of the following is thoughtfully rearranged from the original works of Charlaine Harris. So I cannot scream MINE._

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* * *

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_But it is necessary to know well how to disguise this characteristic, and to be a great pretender _

_and dissembler; and men are so simple, and so subject to present necessities, that he who seeks _

_to deceive will always find someone who will allow himself to be deceived._

– _Machiavelli's The Prince._

_

* * *

_

I'd like to say that all of my machinations are put away when I'm around Sookie, but realistically they cannot be separated. It is the way that I operate. I try as best I can to obscure what it is that I'm doing, but I have no compunction to always find myself without knowledge and control. Information is power – that is after all the draw of telepathy. With information, one can anticipate and handle desirable situations in a beneficial manner.

Sookie Stackhouse never knew how close she came to death in that massacre in Dallas. Not the bullets, but at my hands. I'd already begun my descent into becoming enthralled with her, and it seemed she was no closer to me than ever. It did occur to me that perhaps her motivation is the common motivation of those who wish to get close to us – immortality.

I have never asked anyone if they wish to become a vampire. It is a hard life, and I have seen it destroy young vampires quickly. Living to an old age as a vampire is something that takes determination. Of course, the determination disappears all too soon if one is asked if they wish to be a vampire. It seems that once they find out what they have willingly entered into, that their resolve breaks far quicker. They despair when they learn what it is they thought was a gift, and it warps them. So it is not my practice to ask – I better than most can judge what makes for a good vampire, and I exercise my own judgement. The decision is far better if it is taken out of the intended's hands, and into my far more capable ones.

Considering the beating that she took, it's possible that she wished to be one of us. But it was also possible that Bill had refused her. She was heavily injured after that fight, and yet, he had not healed her. I knew she'd had vampire blood – that of Longshadow's, but the man she was with had not healed her from her dreadful injuries. As vampires do not usually give blood, I thought perhaps that he did not wish to tie himself to her in that manner.

She did not fear vampires too greatly, or romanticise them. Not wanting to either scare her off or make others aware of my intentions, I seized on my first available opportunity. It came during the massacre. When Sookie pointed out that there was a girl dying a couple of feet away, I tested her own wishes by asking her if she wanted me to turn her. I had no wish to tie myself to this surely worthless girl, but it gave me an opportunity to observe how Sookie felt about the matter.

If she had jumped eagerly into my suggestion, she may not have made it off the floor alive. In my experience, only those who wish to be turned will answer affirmatively without doubt that others would want such a thing. Her hesitation told me that Sookie was not with Bill for these reasons. She did not have a fervent wish to become a vampire, and I assumed that Bill had not let her know the restorative properties of blood, and chose not to bind himself to her in such a way.

Getting my blood into Sookie would serve two purposes. It would help in manipulating her – if I could judge the reactions to what I said to her, I would be better served to press my own case if I was clued into her mood, having an advantage over Bill. If he was only taking blood, as I had, then that connection was not as strong as the connection through a mutual blood exchange. Moreover, it had become more important to me to have her yield to me more than she previously had. What had started as a political game over an asset was becoming more meaningful to me.

I would also be able to track her. With my blood inside her, even if she left Bill, I would be able to find her and keep her as my asset. So I made up the story about needing to get the bullet out of my flesh, and that was all it took. Bill would find out of course, but that would be after the fact, with nothing to be done. Bill could consider himself lucky that he did not return to find that she was my child. I could have let her take a bullet while the shooting was going on and then just used that to justify turning her right there. I could even have made it look good. After it was done, he would not have had cause to fight me, I would tell him that I was acquiescing to her own wish for immortality.

When she called me later to attend the orgy with her, she called me her big bullshitter. I knew at that point that Bill had told her the effects of my blood in her. It made me wonder whether she had known this previously. When she swallowed Longshadow's blood, Pam and I were vague about the effects that it would have. Perhaps Bill had given her his blood, and had neglected to tell her the implications, but it seemed important to know whether or not I did have an advantage over Bill. I told her the truth that night when I said that I thought of her mortality often. I did not have the advantage of waiting for the next hundred years. If she was resistant to the idea of becoming vampire, my time with her was limited.

So while helping her get ready for the orgy, I made sure to toss her a bottle of perfume while she wasn't quite looking. Her reflexes were just too good for the ordinary human, so I knew that she had had more blood than just Longshadow's and mine. So that meant that Bill had given Sookie a substantial amount of his blood – but it was clear to me that they had not bonded. She would have mentioned the bond, and Bill clearly had not felt her distress or that she was safe in Dallas. I felt that my chances to have her were increased with this.

What I had was time. He had obviously fed her his blood previously, but the circumstances made me curious. He didn't give her his blood in Dallas, nor did he give her his blood in the hospital after her attack by the Lenier man. While she proclaimed to feel deeply about him, she did not bond with him based on emotions either. I could not determine when or how he had given her blood. But the fact that he didn't bond with her meant that her emotions were not so deep for him. I had time to press my advantage. And I fully intended to do so after that, more than ever.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

Our next escapade in Mississippi gave me an opportunity to test further how much blood Bill had given her. I was also curious to know why it was that she refused his blood when previously in pain, or why it was that he had not offered. He had declared her "his" – it was within his rights to give her blood. She was a prized possession that much was clear. I found myself desperate to give her my blood as well – so much so that it muddled my planning. I wanted to heal the marks the filthy were had left on her shoulder, which was a foolish idea, as Sookie informed me. If only I was the type to deny myself what I wished to have, I may have gone far away from Sookie Stackhouse once I realised this fact.

I considered whether he had told her about blood bonding – perhaps it was her choice not to take the blood. It isn't normal practice to tell humans, but perhaps they had made a choice to do so. But I learnt that even though Bill had told Sookie about the effect the blood would have, he did not tell her about blood bonding. He couldn't have. She was perfectly willing to take my blood for a second time.

I was thrilled that the only time she ever refused my blood it was not for lack of wanting it, but practicality. We were so of a type. Sookie refused to let me heal the marks on her shoulder not because she didn't want me, or the effects, but because it would have alerted others to her association with vampires. Later on that night, I anticipated her argument, but she agreed and took my blood in order to save Bill. But when time came to take my blood, she took far more than she needed to. Sookie gulped me down in absolute mouthfuls. It was a heady feeling, and one I would not feel again for a while.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

Of course, I did occasionally give her gifts as well. I made sure that they suited my purposes, and that they fit with trying to inveigle myself into her life. I made sure that she was thinking about me. I had observed that she didn't seem to receive many gifts from Bill, and I assumed that he was not the type. That served my purposes well. Considering that we did not have a romantic relationship yet, Sookie may think it inappropriate for me to give her anything personal.

The first thing I gave her was a new driveway. I did that for good reason. Firstly, as I planned to have a relationship with her, I didn't wish for my car to be damaged on the way to her house. I couldn't foresee bringing her to my house at that time. I did not know her well enough, and I had to actually have a physical relationship with her first. So, it was practical. In part, it was a thank you for all that she'd done in Mississippi to help me (and of course herself) and I knew that that would just make her esteem for me rise when she'd expressly said that she couldn't ask for money from Bill to redo her driveway like she was a whore.

I could understand this, having known grasping women, and I could understand that she did not wish to be in the same category. If I gave her a finite gift, with no way in which to return it, it would be easily accepted. It would also serve to remind her that I was around, that I was grateful – for her to think about me, as she would, every time she drove on it. She didn't thank me for the driveway. I was torn on how I thought about that. In part, I could understand that our parting in the circumstances did not lend itself to that. Rescinding your invitation and yelling out thanks is incongruous. With or without thanks, it would serve its purpose. It was inevitable to me that rescinded invitation or not, I would return to her for help based on the deal she had made with me that fateful night.

I also gave her more than was required for my stay with her. Pam told me that the witches had offered to give fifty thousand dollars for giving me up, and that they had bargained down Sookie's brother to thirty five thousand dollars. Of course, I could write either off on my taxes as a business expense with a little creative accounting, so the greater amount was a better choice. It would let Sookie know that I appreciated what she had done, and endear me to her. Now that she wasn't with Bill, it would help that I treated her with extra deference so that I might continue our deal.

The second gift I gave her was a new coat. It was a far more personal gift, but our relationship was a far more personal one. Since I suspected at the time that the reason there was brain tissue on my own coat sleeve was a murder, I wanted her to get rid of evidence. Without a new coat to replace it, she would keep the coat, which could be later used as evidence in however it played out. Therefore, I made sure to get it to her quickly. Sookie was smart enough to discard evidence quickly. I chose my favourite colour, and made sure that it was of fitting style and quality. I may have cold skin, but Sookie Stackhouse would feel me around her when she felt warm. I could not think of a better way in which to make my presence clear.

The third set of gifts I gave her was really due to my fault. If the takeover hadn't happened in her house, and if events hadn't gone as they did, I wouldn't have needed to buy her anything. I did smash her cell phone against the wall, so knowing what I did about how well she managed others making decisions for her, I replaced it with one of my favourite colour, and then paid the bill. I normally did my best not to destroy her possessions, but I could not think of a worse scenario than Victor Madden getting that phone to find out whom she was contacting. The least amount of information they knew about Sookie, the better. Destroying it was a better way to do it, and it took a bit of care just to smash it and not make a hole in the wall. But, demolishing her phone would not endear me to Sookie, so I replaced it immediately.

Without the takeover, the front door would have been intact as well. It was generally my fault, but not directly my fault. But, it served a good opportunity to make it clear that while Quinn didn't care for the damage he had done to her house, I did. I was overjoyed later to hear that she broke with him (particularly since he told me himself with cold resentment), and I hoped that the door replacement left me with a good chance with her once again, and that she wouldn't have a short period of breaking with him as she had with Bill.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

When next she took my blood, it was the final brick in the bond. It is possible that the emotions we felt for each other solidified that bonding. I felt a sense of triumph at that fact. It wasn't just me. I may have suckered myself in the game of my choosing, but I was also having an effect on her. I wasn't clear how she felt, but I had more of a chance than ever now. Sure, I could control her and influence her if I so wished, but I felt that that would change the dynamic of our relationship. What I had done so far was effective, and I had a permanent bond with her. At any time I could choose to disassociate with her and allow the bond to dispel, but I've never been one to deny myself, and I have no reason to do so now.

The bond was another brick in the relationship with Sookie too. It would make her feel happier to see me. It would make her more likely to forgive me, and to accept my actions. Others would be dealt with harsher, but she would be inclined to forgive me by the bond – wanting to be nearer to me, and come to associate me with joy. It would be a powerful insight into how she was feeling and a definitive claim on her. No longer would I have to wonder how she was that day before I came to visit her, but I could calculate when it was to my best advantage to do so. Knowing Sookie, she would resist the intrusion, but it would affect her nonetheless.

It would be dishonest to say that I exchanged blood with Sookie just to make her happy. But as ever, I had political concerns, and I'd wanted her loyalty for a long time now. The fact of the matter is that she's a valuable resource. While I might not want to bond with her to use my influence on her, I have no doubt that Andre would do so in an instant. Any chance I would have had with her would be gone, and he'd soon turn her. Worse still, he'd allow Sophie Anne to turn her and she would never allow her children to leave. The instant Andre was to give her blood, she would be out of reach. I had no illusions that Andre would give up in his quest to bond to Sookie, and Sophie Ann would surely back him. She had wanted Sookie's talents for her stable for a while.

My only hope was that I could see that Louisiana was weak, and with winning Arkansas, would be vulnerable. Absorbing another state would be a problem; particularly one that was not rich while Louisiana was in such disarray. The possibility of a takeover was a bigger threat than ever, and the thought that there were already plots to weaken the Queen's position by delaying the Summit means that some monarch would soon seek to take advantage. I would do Sookie no good to be tied to the Queen until the danger played out, and it would only strengthen my position to have an asset more under my control than not. If I could forestall the Queen and Andre, then I would have a better chance for myself both with Sookie and with whatever the outcome of the Takeover.

I had hoped that the bond would solidify our relationship, and make Sookie choose to be with me. That was a quickly dashed hope however.

* * *

**A/N: **From CH's FAQ page:

Please note that the three times written there previously was claimed by CH to be a "brain fart" and it has since been changed.

_A blood bond may be formed when a vampire and a human exchange blood, though often it takes more than once. It also may depend on the emotional bond existing between them._ **Three times is not the magic number.** Eric would not have been fully expecting the bond at that particular moment, although he knew it was a possibility, and would have been almost as surprised as Sookie was.

Concerning the events in DTTW, which you would have been expecting in this chapter, as a timeline progression type thing. Those events affect him a lot more when taken in context of the timeline that **he** recalls them, rather than setting them in chronological order - after all - that knowledge was in a bubble for a while, waiting for him to be able to access it. I think CH had good reason to do it exactly when she did. When summing up his body of knowledge about Sookie, the events of their time together had much more significance and truly affected his actions through the last bit of FDTW and DAG - but you'll see that when we get there. :D


	4. The Constant Inquirer

_Disclaimer: All of the following is thoughtfully rearranged from the original works of Charlaine Harris. So I cannot scream MINE._

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* * *

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_Therefore, do not let our princes accuse fortune for the loss of their principalities after so many years' _

_possession, but rather their own sloth, because in quiet times they never thought there could be a _

_change (it is a common defect in man not to make any provision in the calm against the tempest), and _

_when afterwards the bad times came they thought of flight and not of defending themselves, and they _

_hoped that the people, disgusted with the insolence of the conquerors, would recall them. _

_– Machiavelli's The Prince._

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After the curse was lifted, I returned home. I was not clear on the totality of the details, and our relationship seemed fraught with landmines. Rather than press my point, I acted as usual and determined to wait and find out about it. I knew that she couldn't keep the information from me forever, and I could wait until she needed something. Sookie would need something from me eventually. Whatever went on between us, she cared enough to come to my Dracula birthday party. I needed more information on the reason as to why I ended up in Sookie's care while under the curse to seek out my heart's desire.

On a positive note, those few days exponentially increased by network of informants, in particular, allowed me to get information from Sam Merlotte, and perhaps some collaboration. Pam told me that while I was staying with Sookie, her brother had gone missing and that she'd promised to help find him, but that when she rang Sam for his assistance, he told her that Jason had been returned.

Of course, Sam Merlotte became a new ally in protecting Sookie, if a little slow. He garnered a bartender to help protect her from a random shooter in the area, but foolishly agreed to a favour, when he had little to gain and was protecting Sookie. I told Sookie that Sam was clever to send her to ask me, but really, he was also stupid. It was a beneficial arrangement – he would call me in when the danger was too great, yet it was in his own interests to keep her alive because he cared for her. Delegation and vested interests in serving my purposes are surely effective tools.

Of course, having my own bartender in the bar allowed me a direct conduit to more information on Sookie Stackhouse. Even though he turned out to be working against my interests, he served my purposes as well. Yet another advantage handed to me by Sam Merlotte. I learnt on my own trip to the bar that Bill was trying abysmally to win Sookie back through jealousy. I expected him to pursue her again, but to my delight, he only succeeding in upsetting her without any gain. Furthermore, she told me that she found me fun to be around, and that she liked to talk to me when I was cursed.

I was more desperate than ever to get those memories back. Knowledge is power. The knowledge she gave me – her take on things – was a bitter pill.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

Finally, my chance came to find out directly from Sookie exactly what had happened at her house. I had my suspicions of course, but nothing beats a first hand account of someone who was there. Since I couldn't have mine, I'd have to settle for hers. Information is power, and I knew that while I was at her house, I had what I wanted the most from her.

She was compassionate enough to take me into her house while vulnerable, and it seemed that I had her loyalty while there. I thought that she was protecting me from a murder that I had committed, and of course, from what I gathered, we seemed to be intimate. This was what I wanted all along – and if she was willing to keep quiet about a human I had killed, I needed to know what had happened and how we got to that point. The key to her loyalty was in that lost time.

Instead, what she told me shook me to the core. The trap that I had set for Sookie was a bad one – it would end up catching me too. Here was a woman I could actually end up sacrificing things for. To know that I had offered to give up everything and stay with her – I knew that if I wasn't careful, I would become enthralled with her, and she may stay immune to my charms. That was slightly ameliorated by the fact that she didn't take me up on my offer because of her own sense of honour, rather than her lack of desire for me.

I had thought that the feelings I'd developed for her, that I'd finally noticed in Mississippi (when she hurt them) would go away. That I could go back to my cold-hearted pursuit of her loyalty for my own gain. But Sookie telling me that I'd developed feelings for her at her house – any thought of pulling back was impossible. The trap had sprung shut, but I was in it. I seriously considered taking her life that night, before it all went to hell.

It all came crashing down – my scheme to garner her loyalty had made me her slave. Not only was she my heart's desire, with whatever that meant, but without my memory, I fell for her quickly. I just couldn't deal with that idea. Sookie had awakened feelings I'd long since thought dead and gone, and yet she didn't seem to feel the same irresistible pull to me that I felt to her. It had all gone terribly wrong.

Of course, fate determined to frustrate me, threw Mickey and Tara into the situation, and soon Bill had to turn up. This friend of hers, Tara, really put the whole evening out. Although I wanted desperately to get this friend of hers out of there – desperately enough to offer my blood, she refused. If Tara had accepted, I could have at least had Sookie's gratitude, one of her friends on my side and her out of the house for the night, but she didn't. Since this was the second time she'd found herself in trouble in my presence, I figured that if I gave her blood, I could make her more compliant and stay out of whatever trouble she found next, or at least find her quickly. It wasn't to be.

I intended to continue my relationship with Sookie exactly where we left off – on this night; I was not going to be refused. Luckily I picked her up and against Sookie's wishes put her on the couch, as I'd hoped that the bed would be used later. Alas, soon after Bill arrived and she'd cleaned up, she shooed us both out of her temporary house. After a little thought, perhaps the bullet wound in her shoulder may have put a dampener on our activities, so I let it go. At least Bill wasn't invited to stay either.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

Then I found out that Charles Twining was a plant by Hot Rain, and rushed down to see Sookie. I was relieved to find out she was well, and that yet another vampire in her presence hadn't survived to tell the tale. At least this one hadn't cost me any money – I'd even get to keep the wages I'd owed him. So it all worked out well, thanks to the protective nature of the Bon Temps folk.

I should have been on alert that all of the feelers I'd put out to find out about Sookie weren't just one-way streets – they were two ways. Of course, I had an investigator do a background check, and I had Sam Merlotte giving me information, but I also wanted to know more about what else others knew about her and those around her. That meant that I'd become a liability to her wellbeing. Others knew that to get to me, they could use Sookie. Luckily, I'd opened all the conduits already, and was ready to receive information. I only hoped that it would stay in my corner of Louisiana. I hoped that it would ensure that other supes thought her off limits, and mine. That was not to be.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

Although she denied it, I considered her mine, and to my surprise, if phrased correctly, Sookie did not object. I could not call her mine to her face in a blunt manner, but she never once denied me when I called her "my Sookie" even when she was dating Quinn the weretiger. I took special joy that she failed to object to that, and took it as encouragement.

Of course, the fact that she dated Quinn was a mistake. I could have allowed her to have her relationship, but not being one to deny myself, I settled for undermining it. While I value honour in my business arrangements, and in Sookie, I cannot extend that to personal relationships. All's fair in love and war, and I made this both. Angry demands did little to have her acknowledge our special relationship, so I made sure that Sookie felt his inadequacies and strove to drive a wedge between them.

I protected Sookie at the Queen's battle with Peter Threadgill, just to point out that I was the one who was there for her, and not the shifter whom she danced with earlier. That attempt was far too subtle however.

I sought to make Sookie question her relationship with Quinn, and how well she actually knew him. I tried to infer to her that he may be the plant for someone else's scheme – at the very least, I was open with Sookie about what I wanted, and that it was for my benefit. I wasn't interested in securing Sookie for anyone else but me, and that was a valuable honesty for her. The tiger wasn't politically adept at all – he was and always has been about impulse and physicality. If he was part of some scheme or plan, he wasn't aware of it. But it served my purposes for her not to completely trust him, and I can't say that I felt that it was the wrong thing to do. It was selfish, but I've come to terms with my selfishness long ago. Without being selfish, I would have laid down and given up centuries past.

Then, serendipity dawned. The blood bond. Not only did I let Quinn know that she was mine completely, and had just given another man an orgasm in the hallway of a hotel (however unintentional) but I now had insight and claim. I would always have the advantage over the tiger – he would have to stoop to ask how she was feeling, while I could just tell how it was. Being that he spent time in the supernatural world, he knew that I could influence her and get her obedience whenever I wanted, and that I could turn her whenever I wanted. Even though I did not intend to do this to Sookie, Quinn would know that I had something he never could have. No matter what suitors she had in future, I would always know more about her than they ever would.

I had thought that perhaps the bond would persuade her and bring her to my side. In fact, the bond gave me some hesitancy when it came to Sookie. On the very day that we bonded, I tried my hardest to undermine Quinn. But when I felt that she was in trouble, I thought that I was bound a bit tightly to suit me. It is one thing to worry about her, but quite another to endanger myself willingly. My affection and the bond made me come to her aid where before I would have been concerned for my own safety.

Quinn had known already that we shared a substantial past together, and that I had saved her life from the malicious shifter – the Pelt woman. That she had consulted me and not him; that she had called upon me to rescue her, already let him know that what we had was substantial. The blood bond sealed that.

It also gave me my first real taste of Sookie defeated. I could handle her anger – it was often quickly dispelled. Her temper was so hot that she could not maintain her rage for long. But her defeat in the Queen's suite gave me pause for thought. I felt that she just gave up and stopped fighting against the injustices she saw around her. Being bonded to Sookie could be a good thing, but only if she stayed strong. If she felt defeated, I would feel that pulsing away at the back of my mind. Suddenly, my game of manipulation became essential again – I would not be tied to someone broken, for my own sake. I resolved to stop pushing so hard to have her break with the tiger, to buoy her up again for my own selfish needs. Of course, if I did not have affection for her it wouldn't matter, but instead of inflicting my hurt on her and being able to allow her to get over it in her own time, I felt responsibility for that.

The next night, when she was at the trial, I attempted to help her and brighten her spirits. This time it was Henrik Feith and the plot to kill him, and possibly Sookie herself, and it was luck that the tiger was there to take that arrow and take himself out of the picture for the evening. I expressed my own fear that she would come to hate me because of the bond. That would be worst. Sookie warmed to me after that, and we did what I always have enjoyed about her – we inquired into a mystery, investigating and going on a little adventure together.

We danced together – a truly wonderful experience. Everything seemed to be going my way. She had told me that she had almost loved me while I was at her house. Then we were dancing, and she was happy, and there was a sort of romance about it. She excused herself, and I waited patiently. I felt her happiness and thought she was about to return, but it continued, until I found her happy with someone else.

It tested every inch of willpower that I had that I would not use the bond she'd never asked for to control her. I hadn't promised this to her of course, but I felt that any attempt to control her would push her away. If I wanted her subservient and doing what I said all the time, I could have forced that upon her long since past. I was livid when I saw her with someone else. I had thought that she'd feel grateful for what I'd done for her, that she would consider me above all others. But that was a foolish thought, and now I was bound tightly as can be to a woman I had feelings for, but who frustrated my every move.

If not for the dancers, I might have said something irreparable to Sookie in my chagrin at being pushed back _again_. As it turns out, she had a fight with the telepath the next day, and I was glad that she considered me important enough to rescue from the bombing. Sookie came to my room first, and I was happy to know that however it all went, she really didn't want me dead. Andre did not fare so well.

But for her stubbornness and determination to see the relationship driven into the ground, she may not have stuck with him longer. I felt her hesitancy to stop our kiss after the Un-Lucky the Were assassin attacked us. But, as it turned out, that delay was only a short one, and I was glad that Sookie didn't have to wonder about him any longer.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

Of course, the Queen complicated our relationship even further. When Sookie went to New Orleans, I followed. I didn't really have close contacts in the Queen's Area, and I was full of trepidation of what would happen on a trip with Bill. His scheme of making Sookie jealous didn't work, but perhaps he had planned his proximity. I wasn't altogether comfortable with my asset being outside my area either, as I had a tie to her, and an obligation.

The Queen would see her as a valuable asset, and might turn her. As I knew Sophie Ann had the ability to keep her children with her, I thought that it was a great possibility she might endeavour to turn Sookie, regardless of Sookie's wishes. With her ability, Sophie Ann could have an asset for as long as she wished, without the regard that she'd need to set her free, as any other maker would need to do. There is less compulsion to change a valuable asset if you know that as with all vampire children, they will leave and you will be without an asset forever – better to keep the human for their lifetime. I know I had done what I needed to get Sookie as mine, so I had no doubt that the Queen would do the same, and Sophie Ann wouldn't be setting her asset free for the rest of eternity.

When I went to see the Queen, she casually informed me of her plan involving Bill – using Bill to secure Sookie as an asset for herself. How pleased she was that the girl was amenable to working with vampires, and asked my own opinion on the gossip she had heard about Sookie. Sophie Ann was still trying to work out how to leverage Sookie, and tried to determine her personality best. She explained that she had heard of Sookie through her cousin Hadley, but that Sookie's disposition did not seem to lend itself to dark behaviours like Hadley's did.

I finally figured out why Bill was so quick to claim her as his own, but yet curiously unbothered by his girlfriend at the time working for vampires. Of course, there is always the policy of 'Vampires First' to think of, but Bill had actively encouraged her to make herself more useful to me. Bill had even used my employees to train Sookie to use her telepathy better for the Queen. I felt a fool that I had not seen it all along.

I realised, with the cavalier attitude the Queen used in telling me that Sookie would be sure to find out. After studying Sookie for some time, I knew that her reaction to Bill's ultimate betrayal would be severe, so I needed to do something about it before she went to see the Queen, and before she found out in front of unfriendly vampires. She needed to dash her quick temper, or she'd end up forced to obey and not allowed to go free; or worse still, her flare of anger could get her killed and turned to ensure her loyalty.

It couldn't have turned out better that Bill arrived at the hospital to see Sookie after the attack. I could have told her myself, but I am no fool. It would be Bill who told her. For one, she would have to believe his tale if it came from his own lips. For another, Bill could hardly go complaining to the Queen that I had revealed an edict to a human woman if it was he himself who told her. I could push the point and Sookie would be smart enough to figure it out, but I wasn't going to do more than ask for her to use her brains.

On top of that, for making Sookie and I fools, Bill Compton could inflict the hurt on her himself this time. He would seal his death knell to his relationship with Sookie with his words, and I could secure my own blamelessness in this situation. I did not wait to see what her decision was, and left her in the hospital. Now that it was out, I would once again give her time to deal with this revelation that her first love didn't really want her at all. I had no doubt he'd come to love her, but his desire was not borne of genuine attraction, but a carefully orchestrated plan. I was not the only one caught by a trap set for Sookie Stackhouse, and that thought warmed me. For my own little piece of revenge, I made sure that when next I was with Bill and Sookie together, in my office at Fangtasia, I stretched in such a way as to draw her eyes, so that Bill could feel her lust for me, and when she looked on him, her hatred and desolation for him. That warmed me too.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

Of course, now with the Rhodes conference imminent, I had to be concerned about how that would affect the dynamics. I was at a disadvantage. My manoeuvring of Bill did not go unnoticed by the Queen, and the upset caused by the various plans to ensnare Sookie Stackhouse did not sit well in my Area. Andre noticed my little stretch, and I was in serious danger of allowing the Queen to exploit my Area more than had been.

I also found myself angry over the whole situation. The Queen had made it clear that I could not trust those who had sworn fealty to me not to be acting against my interests. My interests being, among others, the acquisition of Sookie Stackhouse as mine. Despite my own pragmatism, it seemed to be causing immense issues. The Queen had sent down Quinn to make it clear that I was not in charge of the assets in my Area, and my underlings were bypassing me to make deals with the Queen. All around the locus of one telepath, who may not be mine completely, but was destined for whatever plans the Queen had long since formed.

The Queen certainly had plans for Sookie, and it didn't involve me in any way. Sophie Ann had deliberately bypassed me for that job, and that meant that she knew that Sookie would be a valuable asset I would desire. I think that she underestimated the depth of my desire though. I watched very carefully all of the cues when Andre came to visit, and inadvertently gave away some of my own. Sookie felt that there was a serious threat from Andre when he was standing behind her. She knew more than she was letting on, and I couldn't help but wish once again that I knew what was going on in her head. I resolved to watch them when they were alone together, to make sure that my asset, what was mine, was not taken away from under my very nose. As it turned out, serendipity and timing were on my side, and I was bonded to Sookie in place of Andre.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

Despite being caught by my own scheme, I couldn't bring myself to pitch into it without a care. It seemed clear to me from her refusal to continue our relationship, whatever it had been, that Sookie did not feel as deeply about me as I did about her. There was no doubt that she cared for me, but she didn't seem to care for me greatly. She rejected me, even after our intimacy, and I didn't like it at all.

Whatever it was that drew Sookie to me while I was staying at her house, I needed to know. She persisted in resisting my attempts to have a romantic relationship with her – both after Mississippi, and after my stay at her house. I could not figure out what had changed her mind so drastically in those few days. After all, Sookie could not have foreseen that I would lose my memory and thus end the relationship.

I knew that the curse that I seek out my heart's desire lead me to her, but I couldn't bring myself to pitch away all of my pride and pursue her as I once had. I wanted Sookie to acknowledge that I meant something to her, that she wanted me, that she felt anything. All too often what I felt coming from her over our blood tie was sadness, longing and regret. This frustrated me completely, as I didn't know why it was that she felt this way. She had told me outright that she didn't want me behind the bar that night – that she wanted the other version of me that she called "sweet". I've never been especially sweet, so I couldn't comprehend what was so different and undesirable about my current state of being.

What was most important is that I wanted to get Sookie to figure out how I felt about her and come to me, rather than set myself up for constant failure. Just as Sookie has her pride, I have mine, and I felt that I had been made fool enough over this woman. By the Queen, Bill and Sookie herself. I just had to find the right combination and let her know my own availability and amenability. I did not let her hide behind her excuses in an attempt to fail to acknowledge my feelings, like her poor excuse about fairy blood.

After the bombing at Rhodes, I felt that it was less important to try to get Sookie to acknowledge that she cared about me. The fact that she had rushed up to my room and pulled me up out of my sleeping stupor assured me that she cared if I lived or died. There was no Pam and Chow to force her to protect me, no reason for her to make sure that I could survive. If Sookie had left me to my fate in the hotel, as she did other vampires, no one would have questioned her. Without obligation she had walked into a collapsing building to get me out. Damned if I could get her to acknowledge it.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

The revelation that Sookie had fairy blood came as an answer to a quandary I was having. For a while now, Niall Brigant had been establishing favourable relations with me. I could not discern his reason for doing so. Until Sookie herself told me that Andre had informed her that she had fairy blood. Then I knew that the reason he had approached me was to do with her. Of course, I did not trust that his intentions were honourable immediately. Sookie had an uncanny ability to find herself as the centre of supernatural power plays, and Niall may be heralding that next play.

As it happened, I thought at least part of her attraction for me was indeed her delicious blood with its hint of Fae. I remember vividly how it drew me the first time I smelled it when Longshadow injured her, and how it had tasted when I'd had the privilege. Of course, Sookie took that to mean that it was the fairy blood alone, but that wasn't it. It was a bonus, an intoxicating bonus, but not a necessary one.

As time went on, I did not give him information on her, not knowing what it was he wanted from me. I questioned Sookie about her knowledge of where the fairy blood came from, but she didn't know. I don't know how much contact she had from fairies; I knew that she had told me that she had hugged a fairy the night she told me of our time together at her house. I did not know the fairy in question, one that she called Claude, but that was unlikely to be a name that I knew him as. It was unlikely I knew the fairy in question, not being prone to socialise with fairies normally. Their choice – not mine.

Those left alive after the fairy war and their own battles tended to be more dangerous over the years. Niall trying to establish contact with Sookie through me was curious though. After a time, he confided that he was Sookie's great grandfather and begged me to convince her to meet with him. Bringing fairies into Sookie's life would only spread more trouble her way, but I resolved to do it. Family was important to Sookie, else she wouldn't have put up with her using dolt of a brother.

I did not do so lightly, and made sure that she would meet him in a public place where not many others would not see her with him, and arranged the meet for a small restaurant. It spoke of the confidence he had in my relationship with Sookie that he chose me, and I felt it boded well that I was a part of this relationship from the start.

Niall was determined to make contact, and had assigned one of his full fae relatives to watch over Sookie, and I felt that it was advantageous that I could consider him an ally in all things that involved her. Of course, it was also advantageous that I had a tentative ally in the fairy too.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

The very night of the takeover by Las Vegas regime was a turning point in our relationship. Sookie had been involved in the Were takeover attempt the night before, according to Pam, and been injured. She rang me that night and I knew it was in the air – it had been getting steadily worse for weeks – but as it turned out, that night was _the_ night.

When we were at Rhodes, during the trial, I detected apprehension, fear and the notion that she was lying to the Ancient Pythoness when Sookie was asked if she could read vampire minds. I didn't press the point at the time, but as a takeover was imminent, I needed all of the advantages I could get. So that night on the telephone, I prodded her again about reading vampire minds. She responded vehemently that it was impossible, and I felt faint echoes of those same emotions.

Obviously, she couldn't do that all the time; otherwise, she would have avoided most vampires, and certainly me. Therefore it might be a rare occurrence, rather than a guarantee. Sookie wouldn't tell me of course (my clever and quick thinker as ever), but if I could be around her, then it's possible that she would help me, and I might not question the source too closely.

The actual takeover came soon after that. I had scouted around the club, and that was the moment it had to happen. My house didn't make for good defences, as it had too many exits, which were also entry points unfortunately. So I went where I knew Bill would be – the only vampire not called to gather at Fangtasia. To Sookie Stackhouse's house. Of course, I also wanted to ensure that the Las Vegas regime did not attempt secure her as an asset for themselves and whisk her away. I had long since stopped considering her just a piece of property, but they had already sent one of their spies to check on her. They were interested, and there's nothing more precarious.

When I arrived, Bill was indeed there, and guarding Sookie, as I knew he would be. He was one of my biggest moneymakers, so having him there would add a little more fortification, another bargaining chip. With some of my best assets at my side, I decided on surrender. I felt that it was best all round – the fight was too formidable to be won. All of the other sheriffs were dead, as was Sophie Ann; vampires and one shifter who hated me personally surrounded Sookie's house, and I had the lives of those who depended on me riding on this. Not only would I be risking the lives of all those who had sworn fealty to me as a good and fair Sheriff, but inevitably, I may be risking more vampire-fairy wars if Sookie was either killed or captured by the Las Vegas vampires.

While the immediate time after the takeover might be hard, one royal is much the same as another. The games that they play are no different, so they are essentially interchangeable. What I knew of Victor Madden was that he was ruthless but pragmatic – I could work with that sort of combination. Sophie Ann was no different, and I couldn't think of many who were. Kingdoms are not made by decimating everything, but working with what you have. It would be difficult and aggravating, but I was used to things being difficult and aggravating. Then as I was making arrangements with those at Fangtasia, I slipped down the hall to Sookie's room and I regained what I thought lost.

* * *

**A/N: **The gossip about Sookie and Eric seems to have travelled far and wide. Tara tells Sookie that other vampires talk about Eric's interest in her, and in _One Word Answer_, a short story with the Queen and Waldo, the Queen says after examining Sookie that _"I don't see what all the fuss is about" _- so it looks like the rumours have reached her court. I doubt she's talking about Bill's interest in Sookie alone.

As for the danger of Sookie's forced change into a vampire - the Queen really was a big danger with that. She could keep her children indefinitely. Felipe isn't half the danger Sophie Ann is because he can't. He's not likely to turn Sookie as an asset only to have her leave his service within a decade. He'd get more use out of her if he keeps her human, and he wouldn't be handing a big asset out to other vampire rulers. Because as soon as she left his side, she'd be welcome and useful elsewhere, so he'd be handing a big asset to his enemies. He's unlikely to do that when he can use human Sookie.

As for the fairy connection the following question was asked on CH's forum:

_In FDTW, Niall says he knew of Eric and then contacted him so he could get in touch with Sookie._

_Had Niall already been in touch with Eric in Definitely Dead? When Sookie tells Eric about her blood. And Eric responds, "You have Fairy Blood... well that explains a lot"_

_BUT was Niall speaking to him? That would make more sense to Eric, wouldn't it? If Niall, a fairy prince, kept contacting him for no apparent reason. Then to later find out Sookie had fairy blood? Wouldn't he have put two-and-two together before Sookie knew?_

_Ok... so if I'm understanding this correctly. In FDTW, Niall confirms to Sookie that he sent Claudine to watch over her/protect her. Since Claudine first shows up, and saves Sookie's like in DTTW, we know Fintan died prior to DTTW._

_Meaning, since Claudine could easily tell him that Eric was with her (and as her lover... during DTTW), Niall knew Eric would be the best option to contact Sookie. So, he WAS in contact with Eric PRESUMABLY in DD._

_So, the quote in question, "You have Fairy Blood... well that explains a lot"... could in fact mean Eric is putting Niall's contact and, if he did, his questioning of Sookie together?_

_duckpond100 2009-09-12 09:29_

_I think you've answered your own question, nessdm._


	5. Secret Favours

_Disclaimer: All of the following is thoughtfully rearranged from the original works of Charlaine Harris. So I cannot scream MINE._

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* * *

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_Let us enjoy the benefits of the time-but rather the benefits of their own valour and prudence, for time _

_drives everything before it, and is able to bring with it good as well as evil, and evil as well as good._

_– __Machiavelli's The Prince._

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* * *

_

As it turns out, one of the best ways I got to find out about Sookie Stackhouse was during my curse. I spent all of my time with her, unguarded. Without all of my usual baggage she felt much more able to open up to me. What I learnt was the simple way that Sookie could be mine is just to be myself. Sookie had seemed amenable during that time that I listened to her – not that I had some sort of grand concern about her worthless brother. It didn't matter to her why I did such things, just that I was willing to do them for her. When my memories finally returned, they were a great boon to my understanding of this woman.

Information when it came to Sookie Stackhouse was power. I had that power again, that key to getting what I wanted. But what I also had was the knowledge of why she never told me what happened in detail. I had thought that it was her way to wrestle with me and gain some power. That it was her way to shame me and make me feel that I was at a disadvantage. But this wasn't the case, much to my surprise. She did not seek to disadvantage me by not telling me. She sought to protect herself. She withdrew, as I had seen her do with that which affected her deeply.

Of course, it didn't surprise me that her compassion led her to take me into her house in such a state, or that she would stop to help a lone man on the road without care for herself, even if he was vampire. Without anchor to my past, I was shook up by being alone, driven by the curse to find her. Of course, at the time that I sought her out, I did not realise that she was my heart's desire – not in a conscious fashion. I merely thought that I was playing my game well, and hadn't realised that I had become affected by my own game play.

Of course, under the curse I still wanted her. But rather than seeing her as an asset to be won and manipulate, I saw it as a need. During that time, if I wanted to forgo drinking True Blood only, Sookie was my only option. She was also my only available outlet for sexual activity. In hiding, she was my only option and I cannot say that I knew that there was something deep there with her before I pursued her. Without knowledge as to how to get my memory back, I thought to use my only resource – Sookie. She was warm and available, fun and enjoyable; and for a few short days, she was _mine_.

That time gave me keen insight into her world, removed from the concerns of my own life. I saw Sookie Stackhouse untainted from my pre-conceived ideas, and it gave me insight to truly win her, rather than just the appearance of winning her via her public face. It also gave me a unique appreciation for her personality and the way she is. I developed legitimate feelings for her during that short time, because of all the things that I observed.

During my time with her I observed all of the qualities I told her I saw. She was undoubtedly beautiful. But it wasn't just physical. I told her she was smart, and indeed, she was. It was Sookie alone who discerned the true purpose that the witches were willing to pay a high bounty for my life. Without her brilliantly deductive leaps, the purpose in that price would not have been known. I also observed her loyalty. She was willing to sacrifice her life for her brother's wellbeing in the face of vampires, and it didn't only extend to just those with whom she shared blood. Rather than leaving me to deal with my own problems, she took me in and helped in the quest to return me to myself. Sookie also agreed to take me in without regard to money. When I swung her up onto my back and bounded over the cemetery near her house, she thoroughly enjoyed it, despite her fear. She had a light sense of humour when she mentioned filling her "orgasm jar". She had such a sense of fun and adventure. Of course, the way she dealt with things when we got to the house across the way, she showed how brave she was. As I had told her, she was responsible and hardworking – she'd spent a night working when she first picked me up. She didn't stop working, and she took responsibility for others.

Unlike others before me, or myself before the return of the memories, I was given unique opportunity. During the time at her house, I got to see Sookie's world from her point of view - none had ever had this before, and I dare say none would have that opportunity again. Without all of my pre-conceived notions, I got to see what life was like from Sookie's perspective - and while to the outside world we meant little, in our bubble at her home, it was truly simple and happy. It was just being - talking, touching and being together doing what we wished. There were no grand dinners, no social pressures, there was profound value in that - all of the barriers stripped away and all laid bare as two beings being together even with our profound differences. It was truly a boon - and one that I didn't even suspect lay in my memories before they returned.

More importantly, when I got my memory back, my appreciation for her code of honour increased exponentially. During my time at her house I learnt that Sookie Stackhouse had few who stood up for her, in either the human world or the supernatural world.

In the human world, she was without status, without money and without education. She was shunned for her "otherness" and disregarded by her fellow humans. Even her own brother was more concerned that he should get monetary gain from my stay at his house, while Sookie was more fearful it would cost her life. Knowing humans as I have, I am not surprised that they did so. What I did learn is that the supernatural world was no better.

I didn't fail to notice that when she spoke of her giving me a place to stay to harbour me from the witches, she referred to herself as a 'storage locker'. It was clear to me that she knew that she was seen as merely a thing by vampires. Worse still, she was absolutely right. In exchange for the silence vampire brains provided her, and the usefulness she could feel when helping with problems, she paid a heavy price.

Vampire assistance really only went one way. Her desire to keep me in her house was not of her choosing. It was my underlings and myself who took it for granted that I was welcome to stay there. Despite her protests that she would be harmed or killed, my safety was seen as paramount to them, and thus they didn't ask, they told. I learnt that Sookie's association with vampires rarely amounted to being asked, but really manifested in being told what to do.

More to the point, she was not asked to bring me to Shreveport, but rather told, and then told that she would be on the front line of the battle. Her resignation to this fact was astounding, and belied a history of being told what to do by vampires, being used as an asset and shunted around without her own personal feelings being taken into account. Of course, she told me of our history, and I realised that most of our deals rested on what Sookie was told to do, with threats and intimidation.

Nor did the Weres ask her to do anything for them – they merely expected that she would take their pack member to the hospital and that she would help in the war with the witches, in a similar fashion to the vampires. This was not even met with gratitude. Instead, it was considered that they could hurl insults at her, degrade her and discount her without any thought that she would continue to help. But for my cursed self's ability to decimate the pack, they would not have offered an apology. Even scorned, she did not wish to have vengeance on those who had harmed her. It was truly extraordinary that she could both accept her treatment and fail to retain anger. What she did retain was sadness.

It became obvious to me that her association with the supernatural world reaped little in real benefit. She did not live in a similar style to the other supes – she had little money, and little respect. She lived in a run down house, worked hard for what little money she had. Never was there a more stark contrast at the power differential than when we were at Pam's house. All of the cars there were seemingly expensive, while Sookie acknowledged that her own car was substandard. Though she was seen as pivotal and important, that did not reflect in how the supernaturals saw her. They lived well, while she did not, and they took advantage of her good nature. Of course, Sookie had come to expect that from humans, so she did not baulk at what seemed to be poor treatment. It surely takes someone that has conviction for their principles to help and allow themselves to be used.

Of course, it seemed to me that both literally and figuratively, Sookie was used to having the inadequacies of others poured into her – through her telepathy and through the ways in which she was treated. I noticed that she often didn't fight back against this, but rather withdrew and expected the worst. When Bill accused her of being a fool by sleeping with me, she did not confront him, but rather withdrew.

Of course, that was what she did with me as well. It seemed that she had gotten so used to expecting the very least, that she had accepted the very least. She did not expect me to feel genuinely concerned or have genuine feelings, and I realised that my own deception was not unnoticed by her, and served to work against what I wanted. The clever and quick thinking that I observed meant that I was my own worst enemy when it came to Sookie. I saw how that worked with her when I sought to openly seduce her and touch her in front of the fire, which she rejected. She saw my calculation. However, with her, actions spoke louder than words. I learnt that I did not need to try to manoeuvre her, and persuade her to yield to me, but rather take the more direct and honest approach. Giving her too much time to think out the consequences was a negative for me.

What I gathered was that underneath all the using and devaluing, all the sadness Sookie Stackhouse absorbed, the key to it all was loneliness. She had independence but the flipside was her loneliness. She had few people to support her just for her. Sam Merlotte, her boss was one, and Claudine her other. If I was to have any chance to have Sookie, then I had to note that she often felt powerless and lonely. I could relate to both her powerlessness (for I haven't always been powerful in my life) and her loneliness.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

I understood finally that the thing that made her attractive to supernatural creatures was what her whole life was like. Sookie was shunned by other humans for being different and having extra abilities. This was a phenomenon other supernatural creatures experienced often. However, unlike others, she was alone, without others with fellow abilities and similar experiences. That meant that rather than cleaving to her own kind, she had no loyalty other than to the humans who shunned her.

Sookie was always alone, but she refused to accept that, and continued to reach out to others. What she often got in return was being used for her telepathy, rather than true friendship. Being lonely, she took what she could get and so far it wasn't enough to make her callous to others, at least at this point in time. Since the Great Revelation, I have had my own taste of the cunning way people attempt to use me to feed their needs, and I cannot read the thoughts directly from their heads. I understood this need to not be used, and to find something genuine, particularly since I had had something genuine with her.

I saw very clearly that the only person in her life who didn't seem to use her for her telepathy, but cared for her person without ulterior motive was Sam Merlotte. When he called me later after I had regained my memories, asking for help with Sookie, because she had been angry and quiet for days, I knew that this was an important thing – and resolved to do what Sam thought best. He served as an important ally in my endeavour to show her that I didn't just care about her viability as an asset, but that I did care about how Jason had forced her into a bad situation.

The irony was not lost on me that the initial reason I pursued her was the main reason she held me so far from her. I would never completely gain Sookie if I could not prove that I wasn't interested in her telepathy, but the person underneath the special abilities. Sookie had leapt into bed with me when I was cursed so quickly and enthusiastically because I could not use her as a telepathic asset. She was free around me because it was her that I showed I desired, rather than her ability. Going along with Sam Merlotte was the first step on the route to showing her that it was not her gift alone that made me want her.

Those around her had shown that they did not give thought to the person underneath that which she could provide, and for my own sake I needed to undo that message. Sookie understood that her telepathy was powerful and was careful in it's use – that much is sure. She did not expect others to care, as indeed they didn't, when she mentioned that harbouring me would get her beaten or maybe killed. Neither her brother nor the vampires cared that this could happen to her, and railroaded her needs. In compassion and care, she did not do the same to me – but risked herself.

I finally understood that I didn't need to be concerned that Bill Compton would be any competition for me. The fact that he'd been initially interested in her for her telepathy, or rather, that he had been an extension of the Queen's interests, meant that she would never be with him again. Sookie would never forget that his initial interest stemmed only from her telepathy. While he might convince her of the fact that he did love her, which would always be intertwined with the lure of her gift, and separating fact from fiction would be too difficult. Of all the other mistakes he had made, this was the most insurmountable. I did not bother therefore to try to keep them apart, but merely to keep him from interfering and annoying me too much.

I was somewhat concerned about Alcide of course, who had pursued her. But he did not seem to be a big part of her life, and she did not mention him. Her contact with him was limited to a telepathic asset type arrangement, so unless the were stepped up his game, I had little to worry about. Packmaster Herveaux was way behind me in that realisation and I knew she'd been to his ascension to Pack Leader, so I had little concern that she would want to be with a man with no modesty. As for Sam, Sookie seemed to be close to him, but there was little romantic attachment – merely a close friendship.

Quinn was a different story, as the root of her issues with the tiger did not stem from him using her abilities for his own gain. Sookie seemed to know that his interest was in the person behind the telepath, so to speak. That made his interest in her so much more disturbing, as he would actively pursue his previous relationship with her, unlike Sam and Alcide. Quinn was a threat, and I would treat him as such. His competition would be of concern, and I determined to keep him far away. In the stable of suitors, Quinn was the only real threat I had to my goal.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

During the time I spent with her, I learnt also that I could trust her. Not just with my physical self, but with my own vulnerability. There was no pressure from her to be or give more than I had. Sookie accepted what she was given, and asked for little in return. It was a heady combination to have one who was bright and worthy, needed so much yet demanded for so little.

My thoughts dwell often on her refusal to have me stay with her, despite my promises. I heard her say that she was a total idiot as she made her decision. Never have I dwelt more on such words. It was clear to me that she felt foolish for not taking me up on my offer. The value I found there in those days was the same that she found as well. That even though I could offer her little other than my feelings, which I had told her were not love, and my time, this was enough to tempt her to spend her life with me.

In the time when I was with her, I did not give her money, goods, or dishonesty. All I did was spend time with her and offer her affection. She let her guard down even though she did not know that I would lose my memory, and she allowed me to return to my life without asking for simple things. What I could give her to get to her was the very least, but also the very greatest part of myself. It did not require elaborate rituals or gifts; it did not require anything other than subsisting with her, laughing with her, being with her. This, I had come to enjoy. This was the easiest part for me, and the part that I wanted most from her. To be free from pressure, to be a little of what I remembered once being.

* * *

**A/N:** I'm really sorry if you were expecting the goopy perspective on Eric – that's not my dealio. Eric isn't essentially any different in DTTW – just without memory. CH says herself here: http:/www(dot)likesbooks(dot)com/181(dot)html - _"Anyone who's lost his memory is going to be insecure and tentative. You'll notice that Eric's confidence increases the more he gets used to his situation. If he'd remained without his memory, he still would once again have become the dynamic and in-charge guy we met in the first book."_


	6. The Clever Archer

_Disclaimer: All of the following is thoughtfully rearranged from the original works of Charlaine Harris. So I cannot scream MINE._

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_Let him act like the clever archers who, designing to hit the mark which yet appears too far distant, _

_and knowing the limits to which the strength of their bow attains, take aim much higher than the mark, _

_not to reach by their strength or arrow to so great a height, but to be able with the aid of so high an _

_aim to hit the mark they wish to reach._

_– __Machiavelli's The Prince._

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* * *

_

I'm sure that it was a combination of memory triggers that brought it back – completely random, and I could have replicated them if I'd had the memories - the irony. I think it was arriving at her house in the night, barefoot, and then being somewhat agitated in her bedroom that brought it back. That bears such striking similarity to the night I arrived at her house under the curse.

All of it came flooding back instantly, all of that time we'd spent together. I was absolutely stunned. It was better than I had estimated, more wonderful than I could describe, that time together. She didn't tell me because words couldn't describe what we'd shared. The words she used hinted at it, but they did not encompass it, and I was hard pressed myself to find a way to put it.

All I _could_ say was that it was the happiest I'd been in hundreds of years, and truly it was. I don't think I had a sense of trying to rein it in after the giant wave of memory hit me. It did not escape my notice that she had come to think that I would not want her, and that I would spurn her. To have shared that with me and to believe that I would not wish for her to be with me in that way when I was of sound mind and memory? I had true admiration for Sookie Stackhouse that she didn't let me die one of the numerous times when the power was in her hands, just to stop my careless disregard of her.

Sookie told me that now wasn't the right time to deal with it, and I decided to give her the time she needed. She didn't hate me when I wasn't ready. She wasn't cruel. I could give her the same. How often did she need to hold her tongue and put up with my anger and frustration at the situation, but said nothing, absorbing all? After what we had shared when I stayed at her house, and the careless way I had treated her, she was willing to give me time, willing to hear me again, willing to turn to me again.

I have no doubt that a small part of her wished to continue our relationship, rather than be scorned by me, but yet that didn't happen. For once, I thought it best not to be selfish and demand that she do it my way, as _I _was now ready. I had to give her time. As if Sookie's own needs meant little now that I had had my epiphany and my memories back, that now my own agenda must run, yet again. As my own needs, and little of hers defined much of our relationship, I could give her time to adjust to the situation. My memories were not regained at a time of her choosing. So I waited, and thought on all I have learnt about her.

What I feel with her is an ease to be myself. She is not fooled that I am something that I'm not, and in turn I do not ask her to be what she is not. What differences there are, and they are vast, must be compromised and not forced. For if it is forced and not finessed, it would soon become a burden, rather than a boon. While I sense some urgency because I do not have her forever, I would rather take a little longer and wait, rather than make this into the bitterest ashes in my mouth.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

Of course, as ever seemed to be the way, my hand was forced politically to do something to keep Sookie within my reach. When Sookie saved the King, Sam and I from a vengeful Sigebert, all was well. The King's formal protection meant that when she called on the favour, all vampires within his kingdom were to come and risk our lives to save her. It was a considerable favour for a woman who often found herself in trouble, and a great boon for her. Of course, it then left the King open to try to gain her for himself.

I knew as soon as Felipe saw the value of her loyalty and bravery that it was a mistake, and I let him know that she was mine by asking her about why she returned. Of course, she mentioned the bond, so I had thought that he would understand the claim I had on her. That did not deter the King. Now that he knew what she could and would do for vampires, Felipe wanted her. Not only was her telepathy a great draw, but also the fact that she had rescued a monarch who had had his lackeys threaten her in her home in the middle of the night made her an appealing acquisition. In short, for all the same reasons I had wanted her, Felipe was now interested.

What was intended to become a favour for Sookie would now come back and force her to go away and change her life. Felipe was determined that Sookie's protection would need to be taken care of by his side in Las Vegas. Without doubt, Sookie would be safe in the compound, with guards and a gilded cage, and the better to ensure that she never returned. Her favour would never be used up, and there she would stay, working for the King.

As an added bonus, Felipe hoped to keep me in line – his unchosen Sheriff – held hostage by keeping Sookie in Las Vegas. If I didn't behave, she'd be hurt. Undoubtedly the gossip had made its way far since Rhodes, where it was known that she held my interest. That they had sent Jonathan to look at Sookie before the takeover meant that they knew she was important – as an asset and more. Add to that the fact that it was her house the takeover took place in; they knew she held value for me. That was good incentive not to try to disobey or lead a revolt if they got their hands on her. Moreover, it was an excuse to force more work, more tribute on me.

Needless to say, I did not intend on this happening. After all I knew from the return of my memories, I decided that it would be best if Sookie and I were pledged to each other. It was a formal step on what we already had, but it held weight in the vampire world. It would give me the ability to say no to Felipe's requests, keep the balance of power and Sookie firmly in my Area. Of course, it was yet another tie that would bind us together, but a politically expedient one.

I knew that Sookie would be angry over the affair, but there was little I could do about that. I didn't intend to tell her beforehand – she would only search for problems, or refuse. It had to be done, and it would give me some measure of security in her affections. I tried to call her to tell her what I needed her to do, but that wasn't to be. Instead, I was forced to send Bobby to give her the details of the ceremony I wanted carried out. I could only rely on her to carry it out.

I made sure that Pam was at the front podium to ensure that Sookie would have extra instructions, as I knew she wouldn't come to the employee entrance as a non-employee. Sookie would wish to send a clear message that she wasn't part of my retinue, but there by choice, which made it easy to predict which entrance she would come into the club by. It went off without a hitch, and Victor acknowledged the union. Sookie herself was predictably furious, and resisted giving into a hug with me. I hoped that my consideration would at least check her temper until she had time to understand why I did what I did. Although she had to go that night, I expected her to be furious the next time I saw her, and hoped to be able to explain my actions the next night.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

Sookie came to see me the next night, but we did not discuss those things I thought we would. Not the unresolved relationship between us, and where I hoped it would go now, and not the pledging. Sookie's life was up in the air, and she was too worn by events to discuss anything serious. She did ask for information on the rules of pledging, but there really weren't a lot for her. Sookie of course, would be pledged as long as she lived – with no option to sever our association. Not only is there no way in which to dissolve the marriage, but also until she uses up the protection that the King gave her, she is unsafe by herself. I dared not tell Sookie this that night, as it would surely cause her to break with me, and lose her temper. Since it could not be helped, I sought to avoid the inevitable.

I felt unfettered delight that she came just to be with me. For her, this was a positive step forward. All of our previous contact had been because she needed me for a purpose, or vice versa, but this visit was because she wanted to be with me. I took this as a positive step forward. I had learned while I was at her house that I could trust Sookie – she wouldn't seek to take advantage of me. I learned that she trusted me too. I wanted to reclaim some of that closeness, so I told her about events long ago in my history. I hoped that we would be able to get our relationship onto a more even footing – to discuss personal issues. This was a difficult matter with Sookie before, but it seemed that since my memory returned, she was far more willing to discuss her personal life and feelings with me that she had been since I'd stayed at her house.

I was also glad that after the way I had treated her when I lost my memories she was happy enough to give me another chance. It had occurred to me that I would be lucky if she did that. Sookie had made me feel things that I hadn't felt in centuries, make decisions not with my head alone but with my feelings, and for a while I resented her deeply. I was conflicted over how I felt and how my own trap had caught me, and I largely directed my ire at her for making me feel this way. I could demand that she give me a chance, but that would put me right back in the space that we were in before. Sookie didn't like it when I had demanded her account of the time at her house, or when I demanded that she tell me how she feels. If I further demanded that she give me what I wanted, I would only succeed in driving her away. Sookie needed to feel the ease to come to me, not to feel like I was pushing hard for what I wanted. I'm lucky she understood that and decided to give me another chance.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

While she gave me that chance, I was concerned that some of the things I had learnt about her from our time spent together would be enough to turn her from me. Not the bond, or the pledging, but Sookie herself. She was a desirable woman, who had an uncanny ability to find many willing suitors among the supernatural creatures. It was the humans who surrounded me that would be the ones to put her off a relationship.

It did not escape my notice that she had told me while I was cursed that she had broken with Bill due to his infidelity to Lorena. I did not think that she would take to a relationship with me if when she came to see me at the bar she would not only be subjected to hatred in general, and my own assignations with others in the bar. Of course, telepathy would not come with specific details, but I was concerned with the envy and hatred her presence would naturally garner.

I remembered all too well her statements that she was "with" someone else. She had told me that she was "with Bill" at the orgy, and that she was "dating Quinn" when I tried to get her into my bed before. This was non-negotiable for her – the fact that she was with others. Bill himself knew this when he refused my gift of Desiree that long ago night when I had attempted to drive them asunder. It was obviously important to her that she is monogamous to the person with whom she was in a relationship, and that they were also faithful to her. I sought to have her assure me that she was only my lover, so that I could be sure I was not wasting effort. If I wished to have a chance with her, I could not allow her to think that I was not truly with her, but as a meaningless assignation with a special gift. Every slight would harden her heart to me – I did not need to heap more indignities onto her.

When I found that Bobby, my day man thought badly of her, I made it clear to him that he was her servant. I could not control what he thought, but I could make it plain what his place in this hierarchy really was. He was not my main concern. In part, it made me angry that I could control what those humans around me would say, but not what they would think. I had a taste of what it was like that Sookie could be used to hurt me, when Charles Twining targeted her. I would not have my underlings thinking that they could garner her favour from me, or that treating her badly would mean that they would raise in my esteem.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

As expected, Quinn came to try to talk to Sookie. His time was long over, and I had ensured that unlike Bill, the tiger would not be lurking around Sookie all the time. With the new rules for the wereanimals who worked for the regime, he was not allowed in my Area. I worked hard to get this provision, to have some measure of control over weres who worked for the King. On the part of the King, Felipe liked the idea of asserting control over the weres now that they had come out into the open. While the small amount of control vampires had now extended only to wereanimals who worked for us in an official capacity, it would be slow and steady work to assert this domination over weres in each of the Areas. We vampires have the advantage of hundreds of years to set our rules, and realise them, but weres did not. There is something to be said for the continuity of enforcement. I recommended that we also provide protection for the wereanimals when they revealed themselves to the world – both to indebt the weres with gratitude and to ensure that it would further the use of weres in future supernatural joint endeavours. One of the things I liked best about the new regime was that they thought forward enough to see the advantage of manipulating weres.

Of course, this would let the Las Vegas vampires know that Sookie was my weakness, by asking for this provision. They would know that it was really Quinn that I was determined to control, and how much access he had to Sookie now that he had told me she broke favour with him. But since all of these facts were well known, I saw no point in hiding it. I only offered an option that would further their interests in controlling the weres in order to get what I wanted. Of course, it didn't hurt that we could control the weres, or that this become precedent. Now that weres were out in the open, the hierarchy needed to be established. It's no surprise that the hierarchy was 'Vampires First'.

I knew as soon as Victor saw Sookie's reaction to the pledging that one manipulated weretiger would soon be making waves. I put my people on alert that the moment Quinn entered the Area he was to be reported, and it took only a short amount of time for him to show up. I did not fully expect him to show up, but his stupidity astounded even me, when he drove into my Area late in the afternoon, obviously determined to speak to Sookie. Why he did not use the telephone is beyond me. I was not going to allow him time to plead his case, however, and I did not have any intention of allowing him to persuade Sookie to take the King's offer of protection. If she left Louisiana, she would not be returning, no matter what happened in her relationship with Quinn. Now that I had regained the memory of our time together, that wasn't going to happen.

As it happened, the foolish tiger made the mistake I had made myself, and fought another suitor in front of her. Bill had apparently not learnt his lesson either, and engaged with Quinn as well. Whatever hope either of them had, they willingly frittered it away. Fighting would not sway Sookie's affections. The opposite in fact, as I had found out, and it had served me well to maintain my teasing calm in front of Quinn before. It infuriated him, but made Sookie pull away from the aggression. But instead the two fools had succeeded in just hurting Sookie. I was glad that I was on my way, or they may well have torn her apart trying to care for her, fighting over which one would be the one to take her to the hospital. With the blood bond in place, Sookie was tacitly mine, so Bill would not attempt to give her blood, and Quinn could do nothing – both of them would wait for me.

When I arrived, I told Quinn to leave and not return. I did not need to do anything other than send him away – his pointless trip had done nothing but leave him in bad favour with Felipe anyway. Victor had underestimated Sookie's determination to stay where she knew the vampires, rather than set foot in the lion's den. Victor had also underestimated my own cunning – I would not indebt myself by destroying an asset so that they could claim that I owed them Sookie's services. Bill was more difficult to persuade to leave, but he left nonetheless. He could do little other than hover over her and declare his affections, so I made him go back to his house. I did not bother to do anything to him – he could go home and fret over how Sookie would react to his latest setback. Fools the both of them.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

Since I had made the trip out to Sookie's house, and all of my affairs were in order, I decided to give her some blood so that we could rekindle our relationship, or at the very least talk about how that might be done. I had only the smallest amount of trepidation that she would not accept me. I gave her blood, which would bring her back to top form quickly, without the need for doctor's visits. More of my blood made little difference at this point – the exchange had ensured the maximum effect. I apologised for my error in judgement, and hoped to smooth things over, glad that I had gone with my mental victories over her suitors, than a physical one, which would have crimped my plans for the night.

She accepted me, which had worried me – I thought that she might not wish to continue what we had before. Sookie took the time to ask if I really remembered my time at her house. I was happy to hear it and prove it to her that I remembered everything. It confirmed to me that our time together had meant as much to her as it had meant to me.

I wasn't completely sure that she was ready for a relationship with me, with knowledge and memory intact. Sookie Stackhouse wasn't foolish – she would know that I had manipulated her with intent on gaining her loyalty. Now that it had developed into something more, I knew I had to assure her that it meant something to me now. I didn't rely on our time together as an indication she would be with me again. I knew at the time that she didn't expect any sort of continuation of our relationship that we had had previously. That much was painfully obvious – why else would she refuse to tell me about it, and continue on as if nothing had changed?

I told her that I would finally claim what is _mine_. Even with such a statement, she did not dispute me – but then it caused me to doubt. I hadn't actually asked her whether or not she was willing to be mine only – and her lack of reaction threw me. Thankfully, Sookie confirmed that she would be willing to try a relationship. Our talk gave me a lot of things that I needed to process and think about, and about what they meant for us.

I had assumed that when we decided on a relationship, she would be happy to move in with me at some future date, as so many women had tried to obtain such favours from me in the past. Of course, Sookie was different – I actually wanted to give her what these women had tried to wheedle out of me. But I'd forgotten that in my planning. It had not occurred to me that the difference she had would reflect in our plans together. She did not want to move in and have me care for her. In truth, I had not considered what it was that she would do with herself all day if she moved in. For my own safety, she wouldn't be able to have an open house policy as she did at her own home, and I hadn't considered that she would have to drive one hour each way to get to her job – which she wasn't willing to give up at this point. I remembered well the frustration I felt at waiting home for Sookie while she was at work and I was staying here, so I really could understand her point.

My plans were only in the formative stage of course – I didn't actually intend to ask her straight after she accepted me into her bed, but with the fairies lurking around her house, I thought that we could just rush things forward for the sake of her safety. Of course, Sookie didn't want to move forward as expedient. Considering I'd married her for reasons other than wishing to be married to her, I wanted to give her some slack. At least she told me that she didn't want to change her life drastically until she was sure. That was enough for me – I knew that we wouldn't need to try to work through another solution I hadn't considered – she obviously understood that it would have to be her life that changed drastically, and not mine. Until we got over that hurdle, I could wait.

I tried to discuss our actual relationship status with her as well, and some of my feelings. I told her that I hadn't considered a woman as worthy of my attentions for years. I hoped that this would let her know that she wasn't just one in a long line of women. There hadn't been a woman I could remember in the last couple of centuries who had affected me as much as Sookie Stackhouse had. She didn't wish to discuss my feelings in depth, which surprised me. I had planned that she would be asking me for declarations of intent and how I felt about her, but she didn't want that.

For her part, she told me of her trepidation with the bond. As always with Sookie, I could have part of her, but she would not fully commit everything to me. I had her in my bed, and I had a promise to continue a further relationship, but she wasn't willing to go all in. This gave me the most to ruminate over. I can only assume that she thought I would be hurting her, and didn't want to give me any guarantees. I can't say that I was pleased that she would tell me that she wasn't sure if the bond made her feel comfortable with me, and that she wasn't sure she had feelings without it.

I did not intend to use the bond to control her, and had proven this in this past by not controlling her. It was important to me that as much as possible, the bond was an entity, organic in its own needs. It would do little good to have a false bond there – and would not foster understanding through that conduit. It would just be a different kind of control exerted. Even if I could control the emotions and the bond reliably, I felt that it would be wrong to do so, and very counterproductive. Feeding her false signals, or no signals would not help to my eventual goal. It needed to be a method of communication, and it could not be so while I controlled every aspect. Sookie needed to understand that the effect that the bond had on her, it also had on me. That's what an uncontrolled bond did – transmitted her anxiety to me and my agitation to her, as it did on that night at Merlotte's Bar. A controlled bond - one intended for slavery like Andre had intended his to be - was one where only emotions that were helpful were fed through, where the human didn't have control but rather the vampire did. That was the very opposite of what I wished for. I didn't bond to her to have a slave.

I thought for a while on how to answer those accusations. I thought about explaining it to her, but in light of the fact that I had manipulated and misled her, I didn't think it was worth the words coming out of my mouth. I knew that she had feelings for me when I was staying with her, but here she was saying that she could not be sure of what she felt. That was obviously not so – she was sure before the bond that she did indeed have feelings. But to argue with her and show her logic would do little. She assured me that she would exhaust our relationship – that only if she decided that the bond was all we had, she would let our association die. If she tried to make it work with me, tried to see if she felt more and wished to be with me, then I could not demand that she do everything my way. Demands and pushing things hadn't worked for me in the past, so I saw no reason to sully the night with a fight I couldn't win. It was not the satisfying answer that I had hoped for, but it gave me a chance.

I thought about trying to explain the bond, but each bond is individual, and while I knew all about them, I'm sure that Sookie didn't. Telling her about how the bond worked would not convince her – she would need to find out herself. Since she was willing to actually find out herself, I didn't see any need to push the issue. Sookie wouldn't yield to me any faster if I told her, and would doubtless find another reason to give me as to why she couldn't rely on me. She needed to rely on me and be herself. She was never herself and we weren't at ease when I pushed her all the time.

Actually, I thought that this was the biggest problem – we had not had an easy history together, and when I stayed at her house, things had gotten deep fast. I could not forget that while it felt like a recent revelation to me, it was not for Sookie. She had had the deeper part of our relationship and I had unintentionally hurt her feelings when I woke up and didn't remember anything. I could not help but notice that the night the memories came flooding back, she did not think I would want her. Perhaps she never thought I would want her. I had to show her that I wanted her, and wait for her to realise that. I could afford to be gracious if it meant I would eventually get what I wanted, so I resolved to give her time to realise her feelings.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

One of the side effects of having told her how deeply I felt about her lead to her telling me that she did not wish to become vampire. Of course, I had long ago discerned in Dallas that she did not wish to turn, so I was unfazed by her own decree. At this point in time, I believe I will be able to hold to my promise not to turn her, but in a time of crisis, who knows? I may ultimately fail that test.

I have thought long and hard about the fact that I have tied myself to a mortal who does not wish to be otherwise. Of course, I find that I tie myself to her more and more willingly. I knew that choosing to share blood and be with her would tether me closer to her. Despite expressing that I was bound too tightly to a woman who would hold a bomb in her hands, I find myself unable to pull back and not entwine with her. If I truly had any sense, I would have killed her long ago as I threatened to do. Instead, I find myself wanting to be bound more and more to her, to absorb this thing without sense of the logic of what is really best and right.

I can hardly fault Sookie for not choosing to be a vampire – I did not choose, and many that I know did not choose. Those I turned I gave no choice. It would be a rare person, and certainly not one like Sookie, who chose this existence willingly. Certainly, there were those who sought it out, but they rarely achieved what they sought. The idea of trading a healthy human existence to become vampire is a cruel thing to ask.

It would be nice to think that Sookie becoming vampire would mean happiness and being together, but I am too much a pragmatist, and know my world well. Being human meant that she was not subject to some glaring dangers. At this time, the biggest threat to her freedom was vampires – who wished to use her telepathy to further their business empires, which they worked night after night. In being human and part of his kingdom, and now wed to me, Felipe had limited access to her. Should Sookie happen to turn, it would be a short time that she would be ordered to Las Vegas with special assignment to serve the King for all time.

Once on her special assignment, she would be forced to obey his every wish – with none of the strictures she now places on her services. In a short amount of time, the killing that would incur from those foolish enough to lie to a telepathic vampire working for a vampire king would lead to her becoming hardened and hard. If Sookie tried to evade the orders, or stick to her principles, then she would surely be tortured or punished to compliance. In short order, all of those qualities would be burned out of her – those things that I admire. Gone would be the compassion, the bravery, the pride, in short order, to be replaced with what is safest for herself, most expedient and ultimately defeated. The longer we live, the more jealously we guard our lives, because those who don't do those things won't have their lives for long.

Of course, in the short time I have known her, Sookie has been subject to many plots and involved in many calamities. While her humanity was a disadvantage in some circumstances, in others, it ensured her survival. At Rhodes all would have been lost if Sookie was vampire, and she would have been vulnerable. In other instances, her humanity was a liability, but it does not escape my notice that there are no guarantees that being made vampire means forever. I have killed too many vampires with my own hands to believe that vampire means definite immortality. In truth, if I could convince her to sacrifice her humanity, it would be a gamble. As a valuable asset and the nexus of many plots already, being vampire would not necessarily save her. In fact, it would be more likely that she is involved in more battles than she is already.

Sookie has far more freedom of movement as a human – she has the ability to keep some distance from the violence of the vampire world. Being human, she's far more likely to run, and live to fight another day. Human Sookie shies away from a fight, but vampire Sookie would be forced to embrace it. If service to the King is demanded, then it is not possible to refuse. Vampires do not tend to run from fights, but rather our nature urges us into battle. She has the advantage of being away from the political manoeuvring she would surely be immersed in, with each misstep worsening her existence. Sookie has the advantage to live a life largely as she wishes, no matter how short.

Of course, the advantage is that as far as my world is concerned, they don't think less of her for her status. Being human is enough that nothing she does matters. She cannot embarrass me by working in a bar any more than she can embarrass me by being a CEO. Just by dint of being human, and not vampire, she is considered to be less than me, because she is not vampire. 'Vampires First' offers her some freedom to live her quiet life without regard to what would impact me politically. Ironically, for that to matter, Sookie would have to be seen as equal. She can never be seen as my equal as long as she is human, so it allows her freedom to choose.

Likewise, Sookie is allowed to express her displeasure at what I do, as long as she doesn't go directly counter to my express wishes, which she has yet to do. Sookie might complain, but she's no fool, and doesn't go out of her way to deliberately upset whatever political moves I have made. She has no power to dictate politically, but her disapproval only really matters to me. Her anger at the pledging did not work against me. She has no say in vampire matters – it has never been our policy to make sure humans agreed with everything we do. Once Victor had acknowledged the union, nothing Sookie said mattered. I only needed to press my will on her to keep silent until he acknowledged my claim, and after that, she was free to express herself as she wished.

To the rest of the vampire world, it was only Victor's opinion and my statement that mattered in that room. To me, Sookie's opinion mattered too. I knew that what I had done had closed off yet more options for her, but it was necessary and expedient. Certainly better that she was unhappy in her own home, where I could visit any time, rather than unhappy in Vegas, where the King could visit any time.

* * *

**A/N:** About the pledging: CH says _"__Even if it's only the equivalent (in human terms) of the old "common-law married," it's a definite status to the vampires." _– common law marriages have no divorce process, and really no rules apart from consenting to be married, and not being already married.

As for the protection from the vampires extending for a lifetime, look carefully at the wording in the text. Eric says the word "promise" and he talks about how vampires guard their lives jealously. He talks about repay - so he's saving her life once in return for Sookie saving him *once* from Sigebert - it's not a lifetime deal. I did actually find on CH's website where she confirmed that it was a one time offer, but I can't seem to find it in my text search because she said something along the lines of "Yes, that's the most likely outcome" (a nightmare to search for) to one poster's question - if I find it, or if someone tells me, I'll update this A/N.

Concerning Eric's lack of worries about Sookie's status. I see this as a great concern that Sookie is embarrassing Eric by working for Sam. Yet, in Dallas, she wasn't seen as lesser than Hugo – and he was a **lawyer** who washed dishes like a housemaid. Status amongst humans doesn't matter that much to them, people. Why would they care if Sookie's poor, just so long as she's useful and tasty? After all, that's all they care about from their perspective.

**

* * *

To keep in mind about the ruminations of staying in his house - and how that effects this chapter and the next (which is also the last) one** - with the idea that it would have avoided the fae attack. Right after the takeover by the Vegas vamps, Eric doesn't try to second guess how it could have been different - he says there's no goal in "being unhappy now." He's not likely to second guess her decision about staying at his house - he's an onward and upward "what doesn't kill me makes me stronger" Nietzschean type.

And if he turns out to be such a _complete_ waste of space that he blames a woman who was **tortured** for her own misfortune, rather than showing compassion that she paid a high price for her freedom - not one ounce of it deserved - I will be surprised. If Eric screeches the grown up equivalent of "I told you so", by going on about how she should have come to his house to be protected, I will kindly request that CH have him staked, and you, my faithful readers can kindly disregard this entire fiction, and conclude only that Eric is an amoral self-centred moron with no feelings at all, since his only "pain" is having to see the end results of the torture, rather than endure it, as Sookie did. I know which one would be more painful, and it's not Eric's feelings.


	7. The Lofty Spirit

_Disclaimer: All of the following is thoughtfully rearranged from the original works of Charlaine Harris. So I cannot scream MINE._

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* * *

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_Those who so bind themselves, and are not rapacious, ought to be honoured and loved. _

_– __Machiavelli's The Prince._

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The fae war is where things might change for me and for Sookie. So much happened that we are so far from where I intended. I don't know how things will play out any longer. All of it leading to where it is, and I know I have a tough road ahead of me, and Sookie certainly does. Those events of a few days might change everything – with the same startling effects as the time at her house – but opposite and dark. Instead of bringing me revelations that make me happy and knowledge that is power, I find knowledge that is sheer poison and painful revelations. All of my machinations have come back to nestle in my breast, clawing me with guilt and my own failure.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

It all started going wrong because the Vegas takeover and my own machinations have lead me here. Thanks to my little manoeuvre to keep Sookie in my area, Victor watched me carefully. Instead of taking my valued telepath, Felipe learned that I was not one to be trifled with, but watched closely. Since there was no leverage on me, as Sookie was hoped to be, I still wasn't completely trusted by my new Masters. So on the night that Sookie called me and asked me for protection, Victor was there watching me closely. He continued to watch me closely - not giving me time alone. There's no reason to hand down punishment if I had to watch everything I did and said. Fear and intimidation is a common technique - I know - I use it myself to keep my underlings in line. Instead of punishment, make sure they feel your eyes on them constantly. I felt that scrutiny deeply and knew I was being watched.

Plans had to be made with this in mind. I told Sookie truly when I said that I did not know how Felipe would react to the news that she was the kin of a Fairy Prince. I could not accurately predict the likely outcome, and I didn't feel comfortable gambling either way with Sookie's future. On the one hand, knowing that she had powerful allies in the Fae world, Felipe might be inclined to leave her alone. He would do so if he feared Niall, or if he was concerned about going to war with the Fae under Niall's control. But he may have his own connections within Fae factions, or may be swayed by the less tolerant view of some of Niall's enemies.

On the other hand, he may just decide that Sookie was far too much leverage against Niall and myself. She might be more valuable for the alliances she would ensure. I couldn't be sure if he would seek to make an alliance with Niall's enemies or with Niall himself. In order to do that, Felipe may have become determined to take Sookie for himself, or to offer her up to Breandan. The regime would declare her in danger from a race spread throughout the world, and I would never see her again in her gilded Vegas cage.

Further to that, he may decide that I was tied too closely to Sookie, and thus to the Fae allies – after all, I had warned Victor myself that powerful forces would protect and avenge her. While my new Masters had destroyed most of the vampires in Louisiana who may have sided with me, they never looked to destroy my allies in the other supernatural races. Sookie offered a large piece of power to me just through her bond to me. With the added knowledge that Niall used me to facilitate his relationship with Sookie herself, I could appear to be leading a rebellion that would violate the inherent 'Vampires First' policy.

To be seen as siding with the Fae, or with the wrong Fae could be deadly for Sookie and I, or it could make use valuable pawns to get the Fae to do Felipe's bidding. It was clear that the Nevada regime had a clear expansionist policy, and if used right, the Fae could bring more of the Kingdoms under their dominion. Anyone who knew about the link between Niall and Sookie would be in danger, and be a danger.

With that in mind, I did the only thing that I could to stop Victor finding out about that link. I couldn't afford to send any vampire who might use that knowledge to his or her own benefit, or my detriment. I know all too well that vampires will jockey for power and better position. So, I had to leave the guarding up to Bill, who I had told of the link. I knew that Bill loved Sookie, and was her closest neighbour. It was possible that he would find out about any fairy visitors because he saw them there, and I knew that for his love, he wouldn't use her (yet again) to make his position better.

My other choice of guard was also taken into consideration – Sookie didn't want me, so I chose Bubba. While addled, he was faithful to his position, would take on the job and carry it out, and he would check in with Bill. Bubba would never think to use any knowledge he had about Sookie's fairy relatives to his own advantage because he didn't think the same way other vampires did. Bubba was largely content and may not make the connection that there was a reason for the Fae to take an interest in one particular human. Even if he did, he seemed to like Bill a lot, so I'm sure that Bill could steer his thoughts away from that and ensure his loyalty. I could not afford those vampires with sharp minds and wits to make any connection, so it was the addled that had to watch her for me – the love addled and the plain old addled.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

It didn't do any good of course. I had played on the razor's edge with Sookie's protection, and I lost. Lochlan and Neave, two of Breandan's own lovers and enforcers took Sookie. Their reputation was well known and even better deserved. They were vile beasts that had no shred of pity and hundreds of years of practice at breaking down supernatural and natural creatures alike. They were the ones that got their hands on Sookie Stackhouse – _my_ Sookie.

Of course, as soon as she was taken, I knew something had happened. Victor was at the bar again, so I did nothing. If he followed me like Felipe did before, he would know what was going on. Victor would know everything he needed for leverage over Sookie, and surely tell Felipe for the benefits he could get. All of my careful manoeuvring and secretiveness would be for naught, and I still couldn't predict with any accuracy what the outcome would be. I had learned my lesson when Sigebert attacked - drawing attention to any of Sookie's abilities or connections was bad.

Bill called shortly after, and I relayed the information to Niall from my office that the enforcers had taken her. Even though Sookie was under threat I knew I could do nothing. The urgency of the situation was there, but I had no sureties that Felipe wouldn't attempt to step into the existing war of the Fae, and it could still go either way. If Niall won, then Sookie would be valuable, and if Niall lost, if Sookie was able to get back to me, then Felipe might hand her over to stave off war. I was in no better situation than I had been previously.

To my shame, guilt and torment, I sat in that bar and felt her call with increasing desperation through the bond. _I did nothing…I sat there and heard her call and did nothing. _The emotions that I received from our bond let me know that she was desperate at first, fearful yet with hope. Over the course of that terrible hour her desperation and fear increased until it peaked, and became resignation and longing, finally going silent. At first I feared greatly that Sookie had expired without her saviours, but I quickly realised that it was not absent, merely quiet, as if she had passed into unconsciousness.

I knew where Sookie was, and had an idea of what she was enduring, by herself somewhere, as a piece of leverage against Niall. I could not go to her – if I did that I would serve the short-term goal of saving her from this danger but I would end up giving her to the greater danger. While I would have wished to be there for her, if I did so, I may be ensuring that Felipe took her away to torture her again by keeping her as a pet, or to hand her straight back to Breandan to meet her ultimate fate. There would be no saving her from that fate – no Bill to send to her in secret. I could not bear to save her only to lose her forever.

I considered during that _long, interminable hour_ exactly how I had gotten to this point, and what would happen if I saw her alive again. I hoped against hope that she was as I had always assessed her – strong and able to deal with adversity. I had to believe that while I sat there _doing nothing _that she would come back to me, that I had sacrificed enough so that she wouldn't face a worse fate, or come back to slavery or death. It pained me deeply that after that had happened, my course of action, the most important thing I could do was _nothing_. After all Sookie had suffered from being pulled into the supernatural world, I could not bring myself to make her come back to bigger problems than she left with. As soon as she started to call to me through the bond, I knew I would not see her unscathed, but I stuck to my original reasoning, no matter that it pained me. I am sure that my emotional pain didn't come close to the very real pain Sookie experienced in that hour at the hands of Neave and Lochlan. If she could endure, then so could I.

Claudine finally called to tell me that Sookie was safe and in the care of Doctor Ludwig. She was alive. Bill had been seriously injured, and was also in the good doctor's care. I let her know that I would be coming to Sookie the next night. Niall was off finishing his battle, and I knew that I would need to be with Sookie – the other Fae would surely track her, no matter what Niall did. The fairy Claudine phoned from Sookie's cell (which had my personal number) and left a message for me as I rose to let me know that I needed to come to ensure Breandan did not exact his vengeance on Sookie herself. Niall was winning his battle, but she was sure that pride and spite would have him send his forces against Niall's so valued human kin.

I made my way to my club to feed – I knew I would need all the blood that I could guzzle into myself, to heal Sookie and to fight afterwards. I knew I would also need someone I trusted in their complete commitment to me, and their ability to fight. I couldn't bring Pam – if Victor turned up again, she needed to maintain the illusion that nothing was going on. While I did this, I thought about how this situation would go, and what would greet me. I was confident in the battle. I had fought – and won – against fairies in the past. But what would greet me in Sookie? Since the night before, the bond had been quiet. Was she too far gone, rendered insane by the things that she endured? What would Sookie say about my utter failure to come to her when she had done just that for me when I was being tortured by Sigebert? It was far better and far worse than I feared.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

The far better was that while the damage done to Sookie was extensive – some of the worst I had seen a human endure and yet live through, she was not completely lost to me. Her body for sure was broken, but her mind and spirit was intact. With my blood she would one day become a lesser whole, but still whole. Sookie hadn't lost any limbs, nothing that would seriously limit her life, as she knew it now. She would still enjoy full use of most of her body. The damage was extensive, but not irreparable, not insurmountable.

I looked over what had been done to her body and I knew that I had sat there in my bar, under the watchful eyes of Victor while Sookie was bitten and cut. I could not imagine that I should take for granted that she would forgive me for doing nothing while this torture was inflicted on her. Of course, I couldn't explain to her now, while Sookie was at her very lowest ebb why it had played out the way that it had, why it was Bill and Niall I had sent to her, why it was that Bubba had been her woefully inadequate guard. I had made the tactical error of assuming that Niall would have somebody taking care of her, but it was evident that only the protection other supernaturals had provided was the extent. _It wasn't enough, and I had done nothing. _

The far worse was what Sookie had to say to me herself. I could not have imagined such a depth of pain over what she said to me. I was prepared for vengeance – both against me for my failure to come to her, and my failure to prevent this. I knew the rage well, and she had agreed with me in my fury at her torturers. I could take her anger – the anger that she would feel towards me, and the anger that she would rage at Bill and Niall for not making it sooner. But what she said was infinitely worse – it was almost too much.

Instead of raging to me and at me she told me that she didn't condemn me for not coming for her – and I wanted to rend and tear at myself. It was unbearable to know that while I had sat there and done _nothing_ in the sake of her safety, when I have always, _always _been a man of action, and she did not punish me. Sookie did not see that I had failed my obligation to keep her safe – that after all of my careful work, she could not hate me for my failure. I should have known that Sookie Stackhouse would cut me so deeply, yet I never saw it coming.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

I should have seen it coming that last night I spent with her – she didn't want to know about how I felt – she refused to demand that I share anything with her. Sookie wouldn't demand that I tell her what my feelings were. I knew at the time that she feared them – because they would be too deep or not deep enough, I'm not sure, but each was a reason to fear for her. After the night I spent with her, she did not have any demands that I would come back to her – she said that she would see me soon, but as a question.

Never would this woman demand anything from me. Sookie Stackhouse would trade and ask for favours, but not demand her due. She hadn't done so after all the promises I made while under the curse, and Sookie continued to hold true to this – not demanding that I protect her from the Queen, or that I visit her. Never demanding. I confess that this was part of the attraction for me, but it became a curse in those moments.

That she would not demand that I should have been there for her when she most needed me. That she did not rage and scream that our bond should work both ways, and as she had come to save me from Sigebert, I should have come to save her too. That she did not scream in my face that I should have taken better care of her because we were wed. That she did not demand that she had been my asset long enough to have me fulfil my obligations. How could she not rage and scream and demand? If only she had. Instead this brave and broken woman told me that she did not expect anything from me – only that she hoped that I would come. I felt like I could die from the sheer pain. I wanted for her condemnation, her bitter ire that I had failed her. I wanted to be punished because I had sat there and done nothing. Anything would be better than her plaintive voice telling me that I had failed her, betrayed her hope and she didn't hate me. For all the wrongs I had done her and she did not hate me and seek to twist Bill or me for our failure. How I wanted her anger and fiery denunciation to scorch me, to be righteous in her anger.

How could I tell her that as always, it was politics that kept me from her, put her in danger, and never worked in her favour? That I had failed as the vampire that had a bond with her, the vampire pledged to her, and the man that cared for her. It was my obligation, my responsibility to care for her, and yet she didn't really expect me to. I had heard it before, but it had never hurt quite this badly and baldly. To my eternal gratitude, I had a fight to win. Before she was free to walk away from me – a lesser man who could not do what she should **expect** that I do.

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

I won my fight with the Fae, and Sookie lived. It was a bittersweet victory. Clancy gave his life to protect Sookie. The King's Protection was spent, and Sookie had no further favour to ask – his death had paid the debt Felipe owed her. She had called upon us and one of us had given our life for hers. It pained me that after all of my careful manoeuvring, it was the death of a vampire who hadn't wished to die that put my Sookie further out of Felipe's reach than ever.

I would miss Clancy dearly – I had nursed him back to health after the witch war – my blood ran through his veins, and his loyalty was unquestioning. As always, my subordinates died when I said so, and this time he had died for a woman he did not like, a cause he did not choose. I could not help but try to think of how I had done it wrongly, how I could have made this better if my decisions had been better. Sookie lived, but at an exorbitant price to all of us.

I had assumed that when the fairy Sookie had killed had not given a death ritual sending – the message to his kin that she was responsible for his death – his last hurrah, that I had time. None of his kin had turned up that night to take vengeance on her. I had assumed that I had time. The confluence of the abrupt nature and culmination of the Fae War and Victor's careful watch of me – I had no time. No time to have done it better than I had, and there was no second chance. I shed a tear for Clancy that he died because I wasn't prepared for such enemies, and because he didn't wish to do so.

I took small comfort in the idea that he lived on in Bill – that he was not gone forever. Clancy left his legacy with Bill, and I saw comfort that Bill did not perish that night. Pam knew about my trials and tribulations, as my second in command, and saw how trapped I was and attempted to comfort me as well. My child let me know in her own way that even if Sookie could not see it in her heart to forgive me for leaving her to the wolves while I sat doing nothing, that I would live on in her too.

It was salve and small comfort, but ultimately meant little. It may all be over between us because our realities are too harsh. I could only hope that her forgiveness would extend to my own betrayal of the trust she should be able to have in me. Would Sookie ever be able to look upon me knowing that I had failed her, and in such a mundane fashion – that there was no greater plot, but only my own fears and uncertainties on a future that may not ever have come to pass?

.*° o O 0 * 0 O o °*.

Niall came to see me – told me that the price he had paid for his love of Sookie was not his to pay. Instead Sookie herself had paid the price for being loved by him. I could see my own future here – she may one day pay this way through her association with me. I understood his pain on this issue – I had my own miniature version of this in the schemes of Hot Rain. Sookie was my biggest weakness, and she could be made to pay far easier than I ever would. I anguished about this – her short life cut shorter for my sake.

Ironically, when he left this world, Sookie would be the one to pay the price of that as well. I could not bring myself to leave her to the vagaries of the supernatural world, even though I may surely bring disaster on her head. Without Niall, I was her only insurance, as abysmal and lacking as it obviously was. If I abandoned her, there would be no champion to her cause. I had tied her to me thoroughly, and there was no respite now – this burden would now be mine alone – the price I would pay for my own scheming and selfishness. If I failed, she would bear the brunt, just as Niall had failed to protect her, she had suffered.

For a year now, supernatural gossip had our affair floating around – we were not secret lovers, and she was not my secret weakness – all knew well that the way to get Eric the Northman's attention was to go for Sookie Stackhouse. Since Rhodes, Sookie had become famous in her own right – for her bravery and the fact that I was her biggest priority. It was now known that if Sookie cared about you, she was a valuable personal asset to have around if you liked to survive catastrophes. Her bravery and daring had her known to many, and her skill made that more attractive. From supernatural creatures to the government – all could see the use in her skills and valour.

With the Fae world closed off, her connection to Niall must always stay secret. I could only pray to my gods, long forgotten, that none would find out the connection and that she'd been tortured to yield against the remaining Prince of the Fae. The reasons why she suffered, why Bill suffered, why Clancy died, would have to stay murky to all but those involved. With the Fae gone, she was the closest that there was left to Fae royalty – surely desired by supernatural creatures for her blood, breeding, connections or her rarity.

If this was even found out, I doubt that I could keep her by my side – she was valuable enough without the extra allure of Fae blood. As much as it pained me, the obligation to protect her still existed – I still had our bond, and we were wed. For her own good I could not abandon her, no matter how woeful my efforts may prove to be for her.

I would tell her as soon as she put back together, and hope that she might see my fallibility, my inadequacy and not despise my betrayal of her, my utter failure to stop what she went through. And I could only hope that she was mine, and that she would be mine.

**The End.**

* * *

**A/N: **The ritual sending at the death of a fairy is mentioned in CH's short story _Fairy Dust_, which can be found in _A Touch of Dead._

This is as far as one degree will take me - it's a bleak reason as to why Eric wasn't there, and it certainly doesn't have the romance of a bomb, his maker, or a plot by the King, or insurrection. But in a book where the heroine is beaten to a pulp quite regularly, and political machinations are a constant fact of life, it seems an appropriate reason. I can't help but look at all the basic information we were given about Felipe, Niall and look at the evidence we're given. If the reason isn't as bleak as this (if Sookie ever asks, which she may not - some fans expect him to always be there but he's not - she was staked in the same nightclub as Eric, and he didn't seek to stop it because it wasn't politically savvy with their mission - and she also _never_ asked him why he didn't stop the stake - she has no sense of entitlement - and he never felt a need to explain it because he feels guilty) at least you'll feel like it's a good thing. :D

If you'd like some actual humour from my sublime husband, a True Blood fan, read this:

**The Secret History of the Vampire Dixie Bill: **http : /www . fanfiction . net/s/5655601/1/The_Secret_History_of_the_Vampire_Dixie_Bill

Regrettably (but also luckily for me), he is funnier than me, and I try to keep him off the internet where he can show me up as the "unfunny one". I can't seem to do the same in my real life where he doesn't deal with mouses, keyboards and spellchecks with their green squiggle lines that are soooo wrong (historians - the bane of their life is technology - they see it as so temporal - with claims that "Pfft I was reading a 300 year old treatise on something Augustine wrote, I wait until the 'fad' of computers is over" *imagines readers eyes bugging out* I solemnly swear - he actually called them a 'fad' as if he would outlive their lifespan and thus saw no reason he should learn to check his _own_ email rather than have his wife do it because they would be ephemeral in the history of the world and thus pointless but for us plebs. Un. Fucking. Believable. Four years now with internet in our house and he plays NatGeo puzzles and I had to guide him through step by step how to upload and publish - Oy!). But his sheer contempt for stupid TB Sookie lead him to write his fiction about silly women. He has way more creativity and romance in his soul than I do - damn his hide - so enjoy. :D

Hope you all also enjoyed your taste of Nicolo Machiavelli's _The Prince, _if you haven't read it yourselves. It was one of the first essays written on political science and paved the way for rational belief in that subject area - a seminal work if you will. Totally something Eric would read. :) If you'd like to read it too, then you can find it online:

http : / www . fordham . edu/halsall/basis/machiavelli-prince . html


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